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Former North Sydney Bears star Chris ‘Smoke’ Caruana has opened up about the horrible ice addiction that nearly cost him his life, seeing the football glam boy homeless and without food or sleep for up to two weeks.
Caruana was a household name in the ARL and NRL in the 1990s with his flashy play and dapper good looks, earning $400,000 a year in his prime playing for the Bears and South Sydney Rabbitohs.
However, an addiction to methamphetamine, commonly known as ice, took his life. At her lowest point, Caruana admitted that she would go up to two weeks without eating or sleeping.
Caruana, now 51, lost everything to his $3,000-a-week addiction and twice tried to kill himself. He has now been clean for almost three years and the former NRL star wants his recovery to be the catalyst for more Australians to kick the devastating habit.
I’ve been in some dark places in the last four years. I just want to help people who need a little hope in their life. I think I can give them to you. I’m here to express my stuff and you know, let it be known that I’m here to help,’ the former outsider told Today.
Caruana was a star for the North Sydney Bears and South Sydney Rabbitohs in the 1990s, playing in 157 games and scoring 44 tries.
‘I felt a very, very deep space of depression and anxiety. I lost a lot of money through narcotics. Yes, they were terrible, terrible 10 years of my life. You know what I mean. I wish I could take that back. It’s gone now.
Everything is fine for the moment. Everything is alright. I have great friends in my life. I am clean today. Yesterday I was clean for 33 months, which I am very, very proud of. And I continue to do the good things that need to be done.’
Caruana said her family was the catalyst for her recovery, including her children Kyle and Erinn.
‘I could not do it anymore. I was sick and tired of using narcotics, but my family, especially my mother, my sisters, and most importantly my children, who have been my support like Erinn and Kyle. That was the catalyst,’ he said.
“I had to stop myself because if I don’t stop using, I can’t give love or support to the people who love me, you know what I mean, that was it, I just decided to give it away.” cold turkey and I’m clean today.’
Caruana pictured with his children Erinn and Kyle, who he said were the main catalyst in his recovery from a long methamphetamine addiction.
In the candid interview, Caruana opened up about the toll the drug took on her body and her life during her darkest days.
It’s a very, very unpleasant drug. He took a part of my soul that I have recovered. But the longest I was awake was probably 12 days, the longest I didn’t eat was probably 14 days. I lost probably 50 pounds in 12 months,’ she said.
It is an insidious drug.
“I’m looking at my daughter and son today and yes, man, they are the people I’m waiting for.”
The pain of the addiction was so great that Caruana has admitted that he tried to take his own life on two separate occasions, but decided to fight for his family.
‘The suicide was a big thing. I didn’t want to be here,’ she said.
Chris Caruana of the North Sydney Bears offloads the ball during an ARL match at North Sydney Oval 1997, in Sydney
‘It’s public out there that I did that. I won’t do it again because I want to stay there for my family and children, and especially for the people who came in the last two months.
‘This [quitting] It’s the hardest concert I’ve ever done. I’ve played first grade football, but staying clean is the hardest. I have the courage to do it.
Some thanks to certain people. First my family. and my children. They are the most important people in my life.
‘To Amanda Scott of [NDIS provider] iCare, which in the last 12 months has put a roof over my head for the first time in probably four years.
“Last but not least, one person who has come into my life, a rock in the last month is Heidi Rawson holding me accountable.”
For help in a crisis, call 000. If you or someone you know needs help, you can contact Lifeline 131 114 or Beyond Blue 1300 224 636.