Former England spinner Udal opens up on his battle with Parkinson’s disease … and love of Bazball

Shaun Udal is resigned to never fulfilling his last great cricketing ambition.

“I can’t even contemplate playing a game now,” said the former England, Hampshire and Middlesex player who was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease four years ago.

‘I can’t hold the ball because my hands were shaking so much I’d be throwing long jumps and full tosses even more than I used to!

“I could probably bat a bit to be fair, but my ambition since being diagnosed has been to bowl properly again in one game before this gets too bad.” I have yet to achieve that. I had a couple of nets a couple of winters ago and let’s just say they didn’t work very well.

Udal, who is now 54 years old, candidly, no nonsense, about the condition that has changed his life. He spoke candidly and bravely to Sportsmail when he was first diagnosed, received the news by post, in 2019 and it’s no different now that this cruel disease with no cure has gripped him more strongly.

The former England player found the transition to the ‘real world’ difficult after retiring at 41

The good news is that he has a slow progression of Parkinson’s disease and can still lead a reasonably normal life. The downside is that once he locks the door of his Basingstoke home at night, the pain and loneliness, even with a loving and supportive family, can be almost unbearable.

“It’s the loneliness of all of this because no one else can help you get out of this,” he says. “If you break a leg, you know you’ll recover and be able to walk again, but this is a lifelong thing and it’s not going to get better.”

It can be hard for people to understand, which is why I post on social media and will continue to do so. I know there are worse diseases out there, but this is pretty horrible. Your mind is still active, but your body can no longer do what you want.’

Those social media posts by Udal are powerful and have touched so many inside cricket that this hugely popular character is counted as a friend and also to those outside the game who don’t know him. Nothing is withheld. He is not looking for sympathy. It’s just Udal’s way of increasing understanding of Parkinson’s and seeking empathy with other sufferers.

“It’s really nice to hear from other people who have this problem,” he says. They text me and it makes me think I’m not alone. That’s why one day at 3:30 in the morning when I was in pain and couldn’t sleep, I decided to post a video to show people that I’m not making this up.

“I was red in the face from trying to get out of bed and I thought, ‘Damn, I’m going to post a post.’ I got so many responses from that and that won’t bring a cure, but it will help people understand that it’s a real thing and how quickly it can affect me.

Udal celebrates with Andrew Flintoff after defeating India in a Test match in Mumbai in 2006

‘It brings me comfort to share these experiences. And the number of people from Hampshire, Middlesex and the cricket world who keep in touch or drop me a line from time to time is phenomenal. I’m fine, but I’m just fine.’

It’s remarkable that Udal is even okay considering what life has thrown at him. He admitted that he found the transition from a playing career that brought four tests and 11 one-day caps and an outstanding national record to the ‘real world’ difficult after retiring at 41.

But on top of his diagnosis at 50 came the loss of his mother to covid, his younger brother who died suddenly and a man who was like a brother to him in his former Hampshire captain and Australian great Shane Warne. They were devastating blows that tested Udal’s resilience to the limit.

“Mom left a couple of years ago and we couldn’t say goodbye because of covid and then I lost my brother unexpectedly,” he says. ‘Then when Shane left…I still can’t believe it. I still have his number on my phone and sometimes I look at it and think ‘come on dude, call me.’ But it’s not going to happen.

‘I know everyone has their problems, but going through three or four big things in a short space of time has been very difficult. Parkinson’s can be related to stress and when you’re stressed that’s when the tremors get worse and the muscles ache. The less stress the better and I have to stay active for my own sanity as much as anything else.

‘Yes, there have been some dark thoughts along the way. Fortunately, they are not there now because I had counseling that the PCA and Sporting Chance arranged for me and I saw a person for 12 weeks who helped me unload.

You can take everything on board on your own and it’s not fair on the family to take it home. So it was nice to let off steam about all the crap I’d been through and it helped me slowly see the light at the end of the tunnel.’

The light is that the good days still outweigh the bad, though he says the bad are catching up. Udal is grateful for the support he receives, the regular messages from across the cricket world, and wants to mention PCA, Sean Barley at the Nirvana Spa in Berkshire and Paul Hendy from the Hendy car group as being particularly helpful to him.

He can no longer run his clothing business, the demands are too high, but he still works as a brand ambassador for Cotton Graphics and can still drive when he needs to. He has also been a fundraiser at his local pub, the Queen Inn in Dummer, and has already raised over £20,000 for Parkinson’s research.

The devastating loss of former teammate Shane Warne tested Udal’s stamina to the limit

So there is solace through cricket. Udal greatly enjoys watching the England team of today and he goes to both the Ageas Bowl and Lord’s to catch up with old mates as often as he can.

‘England has been amazing to watch, hasn’t it?’ she says admiringly. ‘They have revolutionized Test cricket and I don’t say that lightly. Twenty20 and Hundred are worthwhile additions to the game, but Test Cricket was in danger of being forgotten and now everyone is talking about it.

‘I’m not struggling to cope. I’m just trying to have more good times than bad. That is why something like a pub or a cricket club are important because you can forget about your problems for a while. It doesn’t have to be over a beer, but as long as you’re in the company of people who don’t talk about your problems for a while, it helps.

I have a great family and friends around me and it’s not all doom and gloom. It’s not very nice, sure, but what can I do? I try to keep a positive mindset, but sometimes it’s hard to do that when there’s no cure at the end of the line. I’ll keep going.’