Footy star Tom Robinson reveals the awful health battle that became so bad he was desperate NOT to be called up by the New Zealand All Blacks

Every football-mad New Zealand boy grows up wanting to be an All Black, but a Kiwi star has admitted he was terrified of being called up for his country due to his mental health struggles.

Tom Robinson was a New Zealand rugby union player who played as a flanker and lock for the Blues in Super Rugby and Northland in the National Provincial Championship.

He made his Super Rugby debut in 2019 and went on to earn more than 50 caps for the Blues, scoring multiple tries and becoming a key striker.

Robinson was also included in the All Blacks squad in 2021 as injury cover, although he did not earn a full international cap.

He announced his shock retirement from the sport in October, just before his 30th birthday, and has now revealed how much of a role concussion played in that decision.

“In 2021 I had three concussions almost within one season,” he says. ‘I was at about six or seven in total at the time, I don’t remember. Too many concussions,” he told the newspaper New Zealand herald.

“I remember my last season for Northland, I started to get stars in my vision. Even when I was doing non-contact stuff like passing a line-out. And it had happened before, but not that often.

The Auckland Blues star has opened up about how much the impact of concussion had on his decision to hang up the boots

So when Robinson was called to the New Zealand camp that same year, his childhood dream of playing for the All Blacks suddenly turned into his worst fear.

“The thing about concussions is you can never really prove whether you have a concussion or not,” he said.

“You can do the return-to-play protocol, but it’s not like a knee where you can get a brain scan and it comes up if you have a concussion.

‘This battle sometimes lasted for months. And I remember there was a bit of talk at the end of the Blues season about how I was unlucky not to play for the All Blacks.

‘But I had this fight in my head and I remember thinking, ‘I really hope I don’t get drafted.’

‘That was the last place I wanted to be. That was the dream. The dream of my whole life was to become an All Black and here I was hoping I wouldn’t get drafted.’

Robinson is now content in retirement, teaching yoga and starting a company called Zinc or Swim with former Blues teammate Josh Goodhue.

Robinson (pictured center with teammates) said the concussion symptoms became so bad that he hoped he would not be called up to play for the All Blacks

But on his recent 30th birthday, he revealed how seriously concussion symptoms have affected his life.

“This time last year I was in a dark place. “As a result of multiple concussions and the relentless thought patterns I had developed regarding concussions, I hit rock bottom, a place I thought I would never reach,” he said.

‘The purpose of sharing my experiences is to help people who may be experiencing something similar, whether it’s a concussion or something else.

“This is for anyone who has identified with that voice in their head, and that voice just won’t stop.

‘Although there were many highlights and good times during my rugby career, most people would probably never have guessed the internal struggle I experienced along the way.

‘I think this applies to many people, regardless of their profession.

‘Looking back now, I wouldn’t change a thing in my 30 years. The dark times have led me to the place I am now, where I experience more peace and joy than I thought possible.’