FLOURISHING AFTER 50: My son wants his inheritance now. I want to buy an investment property. How can we find a solution?

Dear Vanessa,

My wife and I are currently fighting over the best way to help our two children financially. I want to buy an investment property that will secure their future, but one of my children, my son, wants the money now to start a business.

The problem is we don’t have enough to do both. My wife thinks we should give him the money for the business, but he has lost a lot of money in the past and I’m afraid this will be no different. I think real estate is a safer option, a way I can be sure the money will grow.

To complicate matters, my daughter really wants the investment property and will be disappointed if I give my son his share because she doesn’t have enough for a down payment of her own. I want to be fair to both, but I’m not sure how to resolve this.

How can we find a solution?

Kind regards,

Rose

Send your questions to leading money teacher Vanessa Stoykov at floringafter50@dailymail.com.au

Hello Ross,

Thank you for your message; This is a situation that many parents recognize. It’s always difficult when you want to support your children’s ambitions, but you also have to think about long-term safety and fairness.

First, I understand why real estate feels like a safer choice. Investing in a tangible asset that is likely to grow over time provides peace of mind, especially if your son has had difficulty with money management in the past. A well-chosen home can offer both stability and future opportunities for your children.

However, if you go the real estate route, make sure you get the most competitive loan possible. Here’s one free tool I offer to help you assess which rate you qualify for.

Also consider the logistics: would the mortgage be in your name or theirs? You may want to consider placing the property in a trust. This can provide a range of benefits, including better control over how and when the property is distributed to your children, potential tax benefits and the ability to protect the asset if financial problems arise in the future. I highly recommend that you seek financial advice to help you determine if this is the right move.

I also hear your concerns about being honest with your daughter. If she depends on you for a deposit on your property, giving your son his share may make her feel inadequate. You may want to have an open conversation with both of you about your financial limits so that expectations are managed in advance. You can also invest with your daughter to help her achieve her real estate goal, while balancing your support for your son’s business ambitions.

On the other hand, it is also crucial to keep your son’s expectations in check when starting a business. Have a deeper conversation with him to find out exactly what he wants to invest in and how well thought out his strategy is. This can give you more confidence in supporting his business while protecting your investment.

One final thought: Will this be the entire inheritance? If so, it’s worth thinking about the long-term impact. You can check out my course on how to have productive conversations about inheritance with your adult children is here. It can give you some helpful tips for navigating this important family conversation.

Ultimately, there is no one-size-fits-all answer here, but open communication and compromise with both your wife and your children are crucial. You may also consider co-investing in your son’s business or balancing real estate investments with a smaller contribution to his business.

Ultimately, your goal is the same: to ensure your children’s future success. It’s about finding the right path to get there.

Good luck,

Vanessa