FLOURISHING AFTER 50: Our mortgage is destroying our life. We can’t even afford to go out for dinner. Should we sell our home and rent instead?

Dear Vanessa,

I’m really struggling with this and could use your advice. My husband and I have a mortgage, and because interest rates rise so often, almost all of our money goes toward maintaining the house. We are constantly stretched, and it causes a lot of tension between us.

Everyone seems to think that owning a home is the ultimate goal, but I’m starting to wonder if it’s really worth all the stress. We used to enjoy simple things like going out to eat or watching a movie, but now we hardly do anything fun. It feels like we’re just working to stay afloat, and that’s not what I want our lives to be.

My husband wants to keep the house no matter what, but I’m starting to think that selling and renting could give us the breathing room we need to start enjoying life again.

I don’t want to lose our house, but honestly, I’d rather have some financial freedom than be stressed and fighting all the time. I just want us to figure out a way to stop living paycheck to paycheck.

Do you think it’s possible, or is selling our best option?

Thank you very much for your help,

Margaret.

Send your questions to leading money teacher Vanessa Stoykov floringafter50@dailymail.com.au

Dear Margaret,

It sounds like you need some extra money to enjoy life again! Financial stress can be overwhelming, but there are some proactive steps you can take to improve your situation.

First, have you considered shopping for a better mortgage rate? Many banks charge long-term customers a so-called ‘loyalty tax’; they often give better rates to new customers while charging more to those who stay. It’s worth checking if you can negotiate or refinance for a better deal. Here’s one free tool on my site that can help you find the best mortgage rate whether you’re buying or refinancing.

Have you also thought about doing a side job? Nowadays there are so many ways to bring in extra income that can ease the pressure. You can try platforms like Upwork, Airtasker, babysitting, or even driving for Uber. Even a few hundred dollars extra per month can give you more breathing room and allow you to enjoy some of the simple pleasures you’ve had to cut back on.

Another thing to consider is the cost of renting. Rent can also be pricey, and moving comes with its own costs and stress. If you are seriously considering selling, I recommend speaking to a financial advisor first. They can help you determine the best timing and strategy to get the most out of your home if you decide to go that route.

But above all, the most important thing here is your relationship. Set aside a time and place to sit down with your husband and make it an occasion. Talk openly about your situation, listen to each other’s points of view and come up with a plan together. Communication and being on the same page are key to navigating this. Here is an excerpt from my book The five conversations about money that can help you talk to your partner.

Maybe together you’ll find that some small income adjustments are all you need to feel less stressed, and you can keep your home while still enjoying life.

I wish you both the best,

Vanessa.