A flight attendant has revealed in her book the passenger behaviors that qualify as “green flags” – from moments of interpersonal connection to simple attention to fellow travelers.
Destanie Armstrong, a flight attendant from Philadelphia, has built a sizable TikTok following of nearly 60,000 people sharing insights from her years on the job.
The latest topic she’s covered? Green flags – meaning that someone is a decent human being – as seen among passengers on its flights.
‘I feel like I say a lot about the negative experiences I have with passengers. But some of you are really cool. So here are the things I like,” Destanie began the five-minute video.
Destanie from Philadelphia shared things she’s noticed about passengers on her popular TikTok account that make them decent people in her book – also known as “green flags”
The first was when passengers greeted the flight attendants who greeted them upon boarding.
“A lot of people will just ignore us. I like it when a passenger asks how we are doing or about our day,” she said.
‘It feels like I’m really in contact with people. I thought that with this job I would connect with people much more. I feel like I never have conversations with passengers,” she admitted.
In second place were ‘small acts of kindness’.
For example, Destanie explained that she works on an airplane with larger overhead bins, which have diagrams instructing passengers to deploy their bags sideways, to make room for more luggage.
When she sees someone notice those diagrams and adjust their bag accordingly, she always feels grateful.
Likewise, more generally, Destanie said that if people actually listened to flight attendants’ announcements, it would make crew members’ lives much easier.
The third green flag, which she described as her “most favorite,” is when a passenger makes an effort to commiserate with a cabin crew member who has just been exposed to unpleasant behavior from another traveler.
The flight attendant has built a sizable TikTok following of nearly 60,000 people sharing insights during her years on the job
“I like it when a passenger gives me a hard time, and another passenger observes it and makes a joke about it,” she said. ‘It is so funny.’
Even a passenger who consciously makes eye contact with the flight attendant experiencing the rude behavior adds a silver lining to the stressful interaction.
‘Recently a passenger was very rude to me. And this old man looked at me and said, “Are you having fun yet, honey?” And I thought, “Do you see me?” Destanie remembers.
Then the flight attendant said, “During the shift, I like it if the person already has one earphone out. They are ready to order. They know what they want. They are respectful,” Destanie said.
“You’d be surprised how many people put their headphones in and think, ‘What would you like to drink?’ And they’re like, “Huh?” she further described.
The passengers who know what they want as soon as the flight attendant comes by are the ones Destanie really appreciates.
The fifth behavior on her list of green flags for passengers is when they “ask” if it is okay to be in the flight attendants’ work area.
“When I was a passenger, I thought you couldn’t even go into a flight attendant’s galley. I thought people weren’t even allowed in there. That’s their workspace, right?’ she said.
“You’d be shocked to see how many people just walk in there, don’t acknowledge us, stand there without saying anything to us, or start stretching out on our emergency exits.
“I’m like, ‘Ma’am, please stop doing Pilates on our emergency exits.’ And then they get angry!’ Destanie said.
‘There was a man there [when] we were preparing for the service and the galley is very small so we asked him to sit down while we prepared for the service. He got so angry that he asked for the girl’s name. And when we got off the plane, he was there waiting and filming us!’ she remembered.
“I don’t understand the right to be in our space, I really don’t.”
She further emphasized that she has encountered a few polite passengers who ask to stand in the galley, which she has no problem with.
Destanie said sixth on her list is “when people have good manners, but especially children.”
“When kids have good manners, I think, ‘Where are your parents? Because they’re doing so well.’ If a child is very sweet, especially the bolder ages, if a ten-year-old child is very sweet, then I say, ‘Well done, parents.’
“Because there are so many cheeky kids these days!” she exclaimed.
Last but not least, Destanie explained, “I like it when a married man isn’t too friendly with us.”
‘I have not been attacked often at work. The times guys tried to talk to me they always had a ring on their finger which literally made me so upset.
‘Complimenting me, or asking if I will sleep in the same place as them. What I’m going to do on my layover,” she added about pick-up strategies for married men.
‘That’s not bad, but it’s about the atmosphere. I think about it the way I think, “If my husband talked to a girl like that, mm mm,” she added, shaking her head no.
‘I love it when a married man has a ring on his finger and his wife is not there, and he is nice to us, but not too nice.
“That’s the kind of man I’d want to marry – nice, but not too nice,” she concluded.
Hundreds responded to the comments to reflect on Destanie’s shooting, including some of her fellow flight attendants
Hundreds of viewers used the comments to reflect on Destanie’s recordings.
“I always say hi back, but I never want to start a conversation because you all look busy and I don’t want to bother you,” one person admitted about the onboarding process — to which Destanie responded, “I totally understand that.”
“No one listening is that real. I feel like I’m talking to myself,” a fellow flight attendant said sympathetically.
“Talking to a brick wall,” Destanie agreed.
“I feel like some of these are minimal manners… I hope you meet more nice passengers!” a third agreed.
“It’s the bare minimum but that shows how many people don’t give the bare minimum LOL,” Destanie noted.
This is far from the first deep dive Destanie has taken into the realities of being a flight attendant on her TikTok.
In the past, she has shared the worst aspects of her job, from the rude passengers to the low pay and erratic scheduling.
She also has to deal with the craziest things passengers have tried in an attempt to get an upgrade to first class.