Many parents find it difficult to say goodbye to their children when they go off to university.
It marks the end of an era as their child transitions into adulthood and becomes more independent.
But luckily, a parenting expert has shared five top tips to help parents adjust to a calmer household as millions of students prepare for leave the nest this month.
Professor Deborah Christie is a clinical psychologist and professor of child and adolescent psychology at University College Hospital, London.
An education expert has given five top tips to help parents adjust to a quieter household as millions of students prepare to leave home this month
Following a worrying study into the Abbott FreeStyle Libre 2 Plus glucose meter, which automatically measures blood sugar levels for teenagers and adults with diabetes, Prof Christie shared her expert advice.
The research shows that teenagers are ill-equipped to deal with the real world, with more than a quarter still unable to boil an egg.
A thought experiment
The professor’s first tip was for parents to think about how they were feeling at this point in their lives and what their parents did to make it easier for them, but also what they did that didn’t help.
She advises taking note of this and realizing that however ready you felt to leave the house at the time, your parents probably felt the same way you feel now.
Prof Christie added: ‘Look how far you’ve come and congratulate yourself. You’ve done an amazing job getting your children to this point in their lives.’
You know how to do it!
The expert then suggested that you give yourself a pat on the back for caring for your child and getting him or her to this point in his or her life.
She said, “Since their birth, you have helped them change from a baby who needed you all the time to an adult who is ready to enter the world.
How did you help them with each transition from childhood to adolescence?
“How did you help them transition to kindergarten? How did you help them transition to high school? You know how to do this – you can do this!”
Professor Deborah Christie is a consultant clinical psychologist and professor of child and adolescent psychology at University College Hospital, London. She shared her advice with parents sending their children to university
Practice makes perfect
Prof Christie believes preparation is key when preparing for the moment your child leaves home. She advises creating a ‘toolkit’ of independent living skills.
She says: ‘Make a list of all the things they need to be able to do. Can they go shopping and cook simple basic meals? Get them to help you with the weekly shop and prepare some basic food – then they don’t have to live on dried noodles!
“Then have them help with the family meals and see if they can do that. And if not, how are you going to help them learn?”
Prepare for ‘what if’ scenarios
As a parent, you know that not everything in your child’s life goes as planned. Sometimes there is nothing else you can do but be there to pick up the pieces.
The professor explains how the adolescent brain is designed to seek out and explore new experiences, so you can never completely avoid risk.
But she stresses that you can make sure that as part of the toolkit you have a ‘what if’ resource with useful numbers, confirmations – or just statements.
For example, think of notes such as ‘Call Mom if I feel miserable’. You can keep these notes on your child’s phone or computer.
The expert also advises mothers and fathers to “talk about what they will do if they experience homesickness, stress or anxiety, feel like quitting, lose focus or motivation, or are heartbroken.”
Just one piece of the puzzle
The concerns of parents revealed by the FreeStyle Libre research are amplified if you are among the 3 in 10 families caring for an adolescent with a chronic condition such as type 1 diabetes.
Professor Christie said: ‘All parents agree that technology can provide peace of mind.
‘Remember that adolescents with chronic conditions may experience more challenges than their peers, but they also have more similarities than differences.
“Their condition is just one piece of the amazing puzzle that is their life and will continue to be. And technologies like health monitors and diabetes alerts are here to help.”