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A Facebook group that offers women the chance to exchange notes about the men they are dating now has took off in the UK after gaining traction in the US.
Women can warn each other about “men who might be liars, cheats, abusers or exhibit any kind of toxic or dangerous behaviour” in cities across the UK using the online forum.
More than 20,000 people have joined Are We Dating the Same Guy? group for Londoners, where users often submit screenshots of matches to get insights into what they’re really like.
One of the top posts in the group garnered more than 60 comments, with a man posing topless beaten like a ‘walking red flag’ by the ghosts of his past and another meeting his ex-fiancée, according to The times.
Are we dating the same guy? now it has become a hub for those seeking safety in Tinder Matches and Hinge Findings amid fears surrounding the dangers of online dating.
A Facebook group called Are We Dating The Same Guy? has taken the UK by storm as the London group already has 20,000 members
The women share dating advice, warnings for dangerous men, and whatever information potential love interests want to hear in the group.
One user told The Times she joined the group after getting a bad instinct about a man she was having an ‘exclusive’ relationship with.
Within weeks, another user posted a screenshot of the same person in the group, prompting her to cut ties.
“I never told him why, but I ended things with him shortly after that,” she said.
A Reddit user also found out that the person they were dating had a pregnant partner thanks to their local Facebook group.
They posted: ‘I’m in the group in my city that has about 30,000 women in solidarity. I found out that the guy I started dating had a pregnant partner!
‘And I’ve asked about a couple of other guys, the group has been very helpful. I feel like there is absolutely no reason why a woman would NOT post there asking for “critiques” about her man.
Are we dating the same guy? also used for general search dating advice, with the option to be anonymous offered.
While the London group currently has the largest following in the UK, others in Nottingham, Swindon, Bolton and Luton have also begun amassing a following in the thousands.
But the number of followers in the US is currently much larger than this, as the New York City group is home to over 85,000 members.
The London group states: ‘This group is a place for women to protect and empower other women while warning each other about men who might be liars, cheats, abusers, or exhibit any type of toxic or dangerous behavior.
“We strive to cultivate an atmosphere of female empowerment, acceptance and support, and will not tolerate any form of bullying, teasing, shaming, victim blaming or aggressive behavior towards other girls in the group.”
The group rules also state that ‘mean or critical comments’ will not be tolerated, especially in relation to a person’s appearance.
“This group is not about hating men,” she emphasizes.
The platform is also used to search for general dating advice, with the option to be anonymous.
The success of Are We Dating the Same Boy? comes at a time when more women feel unprotected by law enforcement authorities in the UK
However, the group has been criticized for encouraging a toxic culture of gossip and invasion of privacy.
One Reddit user said: ‘I don’t know how I feel about it. Unless there’s serious danger, then I’m not comfortable with the idea.
‘What if a woman decides to make up lies about a guy and post it on that group?’
Another added: ‘The way people share profiles of men without permission is insane. Imagine that one of your dates doesn’t like you and goes out of his way to publish your name on the Internet.
The success of Are We Dating the Same Boy? It comes at a time when many women feel unprotected by law enforcement authorities in the UK.
Former Metropolitan Police officer David Carrick was recently exposed as one of Britain’s most prolific sex offenders.
He abused and tortured 12 victims over nearly two decades after telling the victims “I’m a police officer, you can trust me” and showing them his warrant card.
In 2021, police officer Wayne Couzens also used Covid laws to detain, handcuff and stage the false arrest of Sarah Everard before strangling her ‘with his police belt’.