Experts baffled as to what drove Lucy Letby to become Britain’s most prolific modern child killer – even after the killer nurse herself admitted she was ‘evil’ in confession notes

By William On Aug 18, 2023

No one except Lucy Letby knows what drove her to kill and attack premature babies in her care. Police have not found anything about her background or upbringing, or any other event that may have led to her murder spree that began in June 2015.

Evidence that she became animated and excited after the babies’ deaths, enjoyed the drama of the emergencies when babies collapsed, and was quick to tell her colleagues in text messages when something unusual and tragic had happened on her shift, pointed out that she enjoyed of attention, they said.

Letby was assessed psychologically and found fit to stand trial, but this desire to be at the center of a crisis could be a symptom of the mental disorder of Munchausen syndrome, a leading criminologist told the Mail.

However, in the absence of a clear motive, Detective Paul Hughes, who led the investigation for Cheshire Police, said he believed Letby’s ‘confession’ note was the only explanation for why she was Britain’s most prolific child killer in modern times became.

“She obviously likes the attention, I think she also liked the attention of a trial,” Detective Hughes said.

But if we’re looking for why she did this, then to repeat her own words, “she’s bad and she did this”. Without telling us why, if we look for why, she wrote it on that note.’ The green Post-it note was discovered in her diary when police searched her home after she was arrested in July 2018. It had the headline: ‘NOT GOOD ENOUGH’.

Lucy Letby wrote in her diary, ‘I killed them on purpose because I’m not good enough for them and I’m a terribly bad person. I don’t deserve mom and dad. The world is better off without me.’

Undated handout photograph issued by the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) of a note found in Lucy Letby’s home

In addition to writing “I AM EVIL, I DID THIS” in all caps, Letby also scribbled, “There are no words. I am a horrible person – I pay for that every day. I can not breathe. I can not concentrate. Kill myself now. Overwhelming anxiety/panic. I will never have children or marry. I’ll never know what it’s like to have a family. NO HOPE.

‘I didn’t do anything wrong. Police investigation forgets slander. Discrimination. victimization. All getting too much, everything is taking over my life. I hate myself so much for what this has. . . I feel very alone and scared. What does the future bring. How do I get through it. How will things ever be the way they used to be. HATE. PANIC. FEAR. LOST. I don’t deserve to live. I DID THIS. WHY ME. I killed them on purpose because I’m not good enough for them and I’m a really bad person. I don’t deserve mom and dad. The world is better off without me.’

Letby claimed the note was not a confession and that she wrote it after she was taken off the unit in July 2016 as she struggled with being blamed for something she didn’t do.

But the prosecution urged the jury to read it ‘literally’ and Mr Hughes said he believed Letby had deliberately left the note for police to find. He said that in May 2017 she knew police were investigating and, although she kept a shredder at her home address in Chester, she did not destroy the note or dispose of other incriminating papers, transfer forms and medical documents. documents, which were found under her bed.

“I think she wrote it down and left it for us to look up,” Mr Hughes said. “She knew the police were investigating, she knew she had been moved and therefore was not a crime suspect, but a community suspect.

‘She knew that her colleagues had been approached by the police.

“It was in the papers in May 2017 that Cheshire Police were investigating the circumstances surrounding neonatal deaths. She knew we’d talk to her at some point, so she recklessly or deliberately wrote it down to be found.”

Photograph issued by Cheshire Constabulary of the front cover of a diary, along with a Post-it note found in the diary, recovered from Lucy Letby’s home in Chester

Lucy Letby is shot in the head in November 2020 while in police custody

Mr Hughes said Letby was not stupid and speculated whether she had left the notes because she wanted ‘fame’.

What her writing reveals about her state of mind

Handwriting expert Adam Brand, who analyzed Lucy Letby’s notes for the Mail, said her writing style was evidence of a “manipulative and dishonest” individual.

Other features of her writing indicated that she could also be “charming” and “nice.”

He said her style showed characteristics of antisocial behavior disorder — impulsiveness, dishonesty, rejection of discipline and manipulation — while also demonstrating her ability to “integrate” into society.

He said the handwriting in Letby’s 2016 diary, recovered by police, had been ordered and appeared to have been made by someone in charge.

But it was in stark contrast to the colored notes, which were shown to the jury, and seemed much more chaotic and disturbed. “It appears from her writing that she is a charming person who can do terrible things,” he said.

He compared Letby to Jeffrey Dahmer, the American serial killer who murdered and dismembered 17 men in 13 years. “He’s been described as an integrated anti-social and I see her like that,” he said. “She’s someone who can be very friendly at times, manipulative, secretive and cold at other times.”

Mr Brand highlighted several “distortions” in her handwriting, although it was not part of the prosecution case.

The way she had written HATE, PANIC, FEAR, LOST on the green note could be considered attention-seeking. It suggested she wanted to be listened to and not ignored, he said. The ‘continuous loops’ on a yellow note showed that she was obsessive.

The way her writing doesn’t go one way or the other is highly unusual and suggests she suffered from “horrific” mood swings and struggled to fit into a team, Mr Brand said.

The lack of consistency in the height of her letters also suggested that she has self-esteem issues, while “hooks” at the beginning of vowels symbolized avoidance. Shadowy boxes and grid scribbles also meant repressed anger and that she felt trapped, he said.

“She’s intelligent and articulate, she did well on her scores (as a nurse), she was good at what she did when she wanted to do well,” he added. “You could tell by the way she wrote her hospital records. Plus, the way she deliberately misled doctors on hospital bills showed how smart she was.

“To be able to mislead doctors into believing a child was about to collapse, to deliberately mislead smart doctors and colleagues. Did she want it (the note) to be found? Did she just want to write it down or did she just want to tell the world she was bad, and did this? Did she want the fame she has? Without telling us why, the motive was right in front of us to find.”

Asked if he thought Letby became a nurse to kill or if the profession gave her the chance to become a murderer, Mr. the most vulnerable in society. Once she saw what was happening and the attention she was getting, something ignited in her and she continued to do it.” Criminologist David Wilson said Letby’s desire to be at the center of a crisis was indicative of the mental disorder of Munchausen syndrome. “She creates a crisis around her, a form of Munchausen’s,” he said.

“Extraordinary stories are told about what happens when she is on duty. She says, “Look at all the things that happen when I’m around.” Mr Hughes said it was unclear why Letby targeted certain children other than she had the “opportunity”, perhaps because she was alone with them as their assigned nurse, or because their parents had temporarily tucked away to get some sleep or to eat. But once she had “chosen” a victim, there had been a determination to harm and kill, he said. The same children were repeatedly attacked. Some died, others were only saved when they were transferred to another hospital.

“(Once) she decided to attack a victim, she went back to the same victim,” he said. “So if she’s chosen, she’s determined to really try to kill them until she does or the circumstances change that hold her back.” She checks. Once she’s decided to do it, and the result isn’t what she wanted, she’s gone again and again to try, which brings us back to controlling and manipulating her.”

The officer agreed that she was a “monster” who not only killed her vulnerable victims, but also made them suffer. “Monster, it fits, because I can’t think of anything worse,” Mr Hughes added.

DCI Nicola Evans, the deputy senior investigating officer in the case, said it was “very difficult and difficult” not to be able to tell the parents of Letby’s victims exactly why she attacked their babies.

“I couldn’t put my finger on what her motive was and ultimately only Lucy Letby can answer that,” said DCI Evans. “She has had the opportunity during the trial and her interviews, and has consistently denied the facts.

“I believe she will continue to deny them, so we may never get that answer. Our goal was to tell the families what happened and one of the things we haven’t been able to do is tell them why. As a police officer, that is very difficult.

John and Susan Letby, parents of Lucy Letby, arrive at Manchester Crown Court for their daughter’s murder trial, 21 October 2022

“On a human level, everyone is trying to figure out why and (says) there must be something in her background, or that happened to her, that led to these crimes. But I think what makes this more shocking is that we haven’t found anything that could point to a reason why.

“I’m not sure there’s anything that explains these crimes and I’m not sure we could have found anything that would make me understand why she did it because it’s so unimaginable.”