Expert to say the outdated manners nobody expects

It’s 2023 and a lot has changed in recent years: many of us are working from home and relying on technology more than ever.

And according to etiquette expert William Hanson, some may have forgotten how best to behave in public, especially in social settings.

He told FEMAIL that there needs to be a new focus on manners that better reflect the era we live in.

William explained: ‘Society may have changed, but good manners are timeless, eternal, classless and priceless.

‘They will always be with us and in need.

“No matter how relaxed we are as a society, there will always be an acceptable code of conduct.”

Here he brings the pros and cons of the label that will take us until 2023…

MAKES THEM

1. KEEP THE DOOR OPEN – TO EVERYONE

Traditionally, men used to leave the door open for the ladies. Often this was for practical reasons, as women’s skirts were large and voluminous and they often needed both hands to get through a door. Today, you must keep a door open to people of all genders. He’s just polite.

2. USE THE CORRECT PRONOUNS

While some people care about pronouns and think they are awake and left wing, I think they are a good idea. When you work around the world, you often don’t know if the person you’re writing to is a man or a woman.

So I personally think it’s better when you sign your email with him/her, especially when you have a name like Alex or Sam that could be or. It’s much better than addressing someone as the wrong sex.

3. WRITE THANK YOU LETTERS

We definitely have to bring them back. I recently sent some Christmas gifts and got no response. I was wondering, with all the Royal Mail strikes, if the recipients had received them.

It hardly takes time to write and send a quick thank you note. And, of course, letters and postal notes have more influence now, since they don’t arrive very often. Even if you don’t have time to write a letter, which you do, you should definitely send a thank you text. Gratitude will never go out of style, and it makes you feel good too.

5. IMPROVES COMMUNICATION SKILLS

Nowadays, people rely so much on technology that communication skills can be affected in real life. Emails and texts can be edited. But people need to work on how to behave in social situations.

Especially after the pandemic, we stopped practicing reading body language, small talk, and eye contact. We have also lost the art of spontaneous conversation.

The key is to show interest in the other person. If they tell you about their day, don’t talk about your day. Instead, ask a follow up question and show some interest in them. I think social media has made people obsessed with themselves. But good manners have to do with the other person.

6. FOLLOW TRADITIONAL DRESS CODES

There used to be five formal clothing categories: white tie, black tie, morning suit, lounge suits, and smart casual. But now, on invitations, people often write “dress up” or “dress down.”

Personally, I find it too vague. People don’t know what to wear. So I would stick to the traditional categories. People prefer to go to events where everyone looks more or less the same. It puts people at ease, so this will help with conversations. No one wants to look different or stand out.

7. DRESS SMART AT WORK

The pandemic means that people are now working much more at home. But the days you go to the office, you should still dress elegant. Don’t think of this as a drag. Instead, understand that you have to do less each week than you used to, so it’s less of a chore.

Also, if you are going to an interview, you should still dress elegant. Or if you really don’t know what to wear, stand outside the office as people leave and look at what they’re wearing. You should always make an effort with your appearance at work.

AND THE DON’TS

8. DON’T BE DISTRACTED

Let’s face it: people get distracted and have a short attention span. But it is very difficult to have a conversation of any substance with a person if he is constantly checking his phone, watch or emails.

I don’t blame people for being like this: we are attracted to this technology. But we still need to try to manage it and maintain good etiquette.

Hopefully the generations born now will get so used to it as they get older that they’ll know how to handle it better.

When the telephone was first invented, it took a long time for people to realize that they didn’t need to shout it out. So hopefully modern technology will follow this path and people will realize they don’t need to be on it constantly.

10. DON’T EXPECT PEOPLE TO LISTEN TO LONG VOICE NOTES

Personally, I like to send voice notes, although I don’t send them to people I don’t know very well. But obviously, you can’t always hear a voice memo if you’re in a crowded place or in a meeting.

When I send a voice note, I always tag it with a message that says something like “About lunch tomorrow” or “not urgent.” And I don’t expect an immediate response.

However, I do not approve of long voice notes and wasting someone’s time. Fortunately, the technology has adapted, so now you can move quickly.

11. DON’T KISS SOCIALLY

While I think handshakes are still acceptable, I think post-pandemic people are thinking more about doing the social kiss.

People are rightfully now much more conscious of having their own personal space and not being around other people’s germs. So I think it’s okay not to give social kisses as a greeting.

12. DON’T LEAVE A MEAL UNTIL EVERYONE HAS FINISHED

Yes, society is relaxed. But it’s still polite to stay at the table until everyone has finished. If you need to go to the bathroom urgently, you should do it after the main meal and before the pudding. But ideally, both adults and children remain at the table until everyone has finished.