Expert reveals the six things mentally strong people have in common – and what you can tell yourself to be more successful

The secret to a successful and happy life is your ability to pull yourself up when life knocks you down.

This is the theory proposed by Scott Mautz, a motivational speaker and former executive at Proctor and Gamble, who recently wrote a book arguing that the most successful people are the toughest mentally: those who can regulate emotions and control their thoughts and behavior .

Mr. Mautz has spent thirty years studying how leaders become mentally strong and is committed to relying on six core factors: confidence, fortitude, grit, decision-making, purpose and message.

Along with these factors, Mr. Mautz said there are six phrases you can tell yourself every day that will increase your mental toughness — strengthening your subconscious mind like a weightlifter adding more reps each day — and preparing you to take on challenges.

Mental toughness involves controlling your emotions, thoughts and behavior in both positive and negative situations, Mr. Mautz said

To begin with, if you lack self-confidence, Mr. Mautz wrote for CNBC says that mentally strong people regularly use the phrase “I am enough.”

Trust can be elusive. Yet it is well known that people who report high levels of self-confidence tend to do better, both professionally and personally, than those without self-confidence, according to the Learning and Performance Institute.

Confident people earned an average of $28,000 more per year compared to less confident people. a 2008 study with data from more than 12,000 men found.

Instead of looking at the differences or perceived weaknesses, you can start to believe that what makes you unique can actually fuel your success.

Mr. Mautz wrote, “The only comparison you can make that is actually relevant is between who you are today and who you were yesterday. The only question that really matters is whether or not you grow.’

Fortitude, a measure of how well you can endure pain or adversity, is the second pillar of mentally strong leaders. The phrase that Mr. Mautz recommends using when facing difficult situations to increase your fortitude is, “What opportunities does this adversity present.”

By reframing a setback as an opportunity, you can trick your brain into solving a problem, even when it would be easier to accept defeat.

For example, if you are reprimanded by your boss for missing a deadline, you may naturally feel upset. However, you can see these types of conflicts as a learning potential. Learning what not to do in the future can help you improve your performance as an employee overall.

Mentally strong people start from the realization that they ‘are enough’. Research has shown that people with a confident mindset make more money than their less confident counterparts

Mental strength, the ability to tolerate uncomfortable or disturbing situations, is a cornerstone of mentally strong individuals

After resilience, Mr. Mautz said mentally strong people have a daring streak. The phrase that embodies this most is: ‘Do I let myself dream big?’

If the answer to that question is no, you might consider thinking more ambitiously and setting career or personal goals for five or ten years down the line.

Believing that you can achieve ambitious goals is the crucial first step in actually achieving those goals, Mr. Mautz said.

“You have to believe that you can dream big, that big things can happen to people like you,” the CNBC contributor wrote.

He then recommended sharpening your decision-making skills. To succeed in this category, mentally strong people often ask themselves, “What are the costs of indecision?” – or make no decision at all.

According to psychologists, indecisiveness can be a sign of underlying problems, such as low self-esteem, fear of failure or anxiety. Martin Self and Sally Winstonwho operate private practices in Connecticut and Maryland, respectively.

In the time you spend thinking about a decision, you can miss opportunities, get stuck in a bad situation, fall behind colleagues and disappoint loved ones, wrote Drs. Self and Winston.

Difficulty making decisions can make you less successful in your work or personal life, and less resilient to challenges that arise in either environment.

Keeping these interests in mind can help you remember that efficient decision-making is important, and avoid getting bogged down in details that lead to indecisiveness.

By reminding yourself that indecision is also on the cards, you can become a better decision maker and increase your mental toughness

By focusing on the things you can control, you can focus your energy on the problems that require your energy

Mr. Mautz then said that mentally strong people have a realistic view of what they can and cannot control.

Spending valuable mental energy worrying about factors beyond your control distracts you from fully applying your potential to the task at hand.

To strengthen this personality trait, ask the question, “Do I have control over the controllable?”

For example, there is no point in worrying about the weather for an event you have planned soon because you have no control over what Mother Nature does.

But you can make sure you take other factors into account, such as ordering umbrellas or fans, to ensure you’re prepared for whatever comes your way.

Finally, the last sentence that Mr. Mautz recommended has you reframe tough daily tasks as things you are grateful for. If you say to yourself, “I don’t have to do this; I can do this’, you can help work on more mental resilience.

“This one-word reframing unlocks gratitude, leaving you feeling re-energized when the tasks of your job exhaust you,” Mr. Mautz wrote for CNBC.

When you feel more positive about the tasks ahead, you are more likely to tackle them with enthusiasm and do them effectively.