Brenda Edwards burst into tears as she emotionally reflected on being with her son Jamal when he tragically passed away.
The 54-year-old panellist of The Loose Women tearfully described the moment her son, a music producer, died at the age of 31 as “heartbreaking.”
Jamal, who rose to prominence for setting up the new music platform SB.TV that helped launch Ed Sheeran’s career, died of cardiac arrest on February 20, 2022.
Brenda talked about his devastating death and her struggles with grief on Ashley Cain’s MTV show Faces, emotionally sharing that she was with her son when he died.
She spoke about the news of Jamal’s death shared online just hours after his death, admitting that she would never get over the “anger” she felt when the announcement was taken from her.
Grief: Brenda Edwards burst into tears as she emotionally reflected on being with her son Jamal when he tragically passed away
Death: Jamal, who rose to prominence for setting up a new music platform SB.TV that helped launch Ed Sheeran’s career, died on February 20, 2022 of cardiac arrest
Speaking of the episode, which airs in the afternoon, she said, “I was with Jamal when he passed away, me and his sister and I can say he was so peaceful, but it was a heartbreaking moment for me.”
Brenda burst into tears and had to cut filming when she and Ashley – whose daughter Azaylia died in 2021 at eight months old – were overcome with emotion.
The former X Factor star went on to speak about the news of Jamal’s death spreading on social media before she could make an announcement.
Brenda admitted she was ‘very angry’ after seeing the news on social media and said she doesn’t think she will ever come to terms with the ‘disrespect’.
She continued, “The only thing I didn’t like was the announcement of his passing being taken away from me. I think people just should have had that respect for him and for me.
“That’s nobody else’s business, if I want to say what I want to say then I should be able and I have a right to announce that.
” But that was taken out of my hands.
“I was angry, very angry. It’s a shame because it took away my sadness from then on to “who did that?”‘ It didn’t even last 24 hours. This was on the same night, it’s about 5-6 hours later.
“I can’t process this because social media is going crazy. That was a bit of disrespect that I don’t think I’ll ever come to terms with.’
Emotional: The Loose Women panellist, 54, tearfully described the moment her son, a music producer, died aged 31 as ‘heartbreaking’
Memories: She also shared that she is very “grateful” for the time she spent with her son, but said the “beautiful but sad thing about life” is that she never has enough time
Brenda, who also has a daughter Tanisha, said she doesn’t know if the person who started the social media conversation realizes how hurtful it was for her.
Her comments came before marking the one-year anniversary of Jamal’s death in February, and Brenda spoke about the emotional event on the show.
She said, “I can’t believe it’s been a year, no matter how much I pinch myself I still feel what I felt almost a year ago.
“I don’t know if it’s because I was with him when he died that I only have those thoughts and those visions and so maybe I’m preoccupied and my mind is occupied with other things so it’s not on those thoughts think .’
Speaking about her battle with grief, Brenda said she is “grateful” for the support network around her, but said she should tell her loved ones not to ask her how she is every day.
She said, “I’m just really thankful that I have a really big support network around me and they’re there and I’ve said don’t ask me how I’m doing because that will make you go to a certain place, but just know, when I need you, I know you’re there.
‘”How are you today?” How do you think I am? I don’t want to offend people by saying “well, how do you think I feel?” It’s like you enter a singing contest and you lose and they say “how does that make you feel?” I’m gutted, of course I’m gutted, I wanted to win!
“But I don’t always want to say how I feel because I have to deal with it in my own way, a lot of my friends just understand.
“
She went on to say that people often ask her how she manages to stay strong and smile every day, but Brenda said she has to stay strong for her adult daughter Tanisha.
The TV host also admitted that Jamal wouldn’t want her to be unhappy all the time, but to continue enjoying her life.
“I refuse to be down all the time because [Jamal] wouldn’t like that,” she said.
Angry: She also spoke about the news of Jamal’s death shared on social media just hours after his death, admitting that she will never get over the ‘anger’ she felt
“And I still have my daughter there, I have to stay strong for her, she has to stay strong for me, we stay strong for each other.”
Brenda, who lost both her parents in a car accident at the age of four, said she is still “constantly” saddened by the loss of Jamal and that she knows the grief will never leave her.
She also shared that she is very “grateful” for the time she has spent with her son, but said the “beautiful but sad thing about life” is that she never has enough time.
FACES hosted by Ashley Cain goes live on YouTube every Thursday. Brenda Edwards takes center stage in this week’s episode.