Former Mormon details the kids’ songs that the ultra-strict church uses to ‘brainwash’ children
A former member of the Mormon church has revealed the disturbing melodies the sect allegedly teaches to children as young as primary school.
Alyssa Grenfell, 31, has built a fan base of hundreds of thousands of followers in recent years as she shared her story – from her upbringing in a devout Mormon family to her decision to leave the church as a young adult.
Alyssa often delves into the many quirks of growing up Mormon, and recently revealed (and performed) some of the songs she learned in her religious school since she was a child.
First, and most breathtaking, was “I Like Mormon Boys,” sung to the tune of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s Baby Got Back, the iconic early ’90s rap tribute to women with prominent behinds.
Ex-Mormon Alyssa Grenfell, 31, is known by hundreds of thousands of people on social media for speaking out against her former religion, which she left at a young age
In her latest insight into her Mormon upbringing, Alyssa previewed three songs she learned growing up — including a bizarre, sanitized rendition of Baby Got Back
The highly explicit lyrics include lines like “when a girl comes in with a tiny waist and a round thing in your face, you get jumpy” and “My anaconda don’t want one unless you got buns.”
The eerily sanitized Mormon version, of which Alyssa sang the first few lines, goes: “I like Mormon boys and I can’t lie / You other girls can’t deny / When a man walks in with a notebook and a smile on his face, you get a date!”
‘A heavenly partner! / Oh but wait! / He goes on a mission and makes you wish you had a man / Someone to hold your hand.
“So deacons! (what) Teachers! (what) We don’t want your features / ‘Cause your brothers are hot and you’re not / So bring on those righteous priests, HUH!’
A quick Google search revealed several videos of pre-teen girls enthusiastically reciting the lyrics to the beat of the original Baby Got Back verse.
The next song Alyssa described is called Follow the Prophet, a song that, she added, is taught to children starting at age three.
The lyrics, which repeat “Follow the Prophet” in reference to adhering to the teachings of Mormon founder Joseph Smith, conclude, “Follow the prophet, go not astray / Follow the prophet, he knoweth the waaay.”
The third song Alyssa shared, which was also learned in elementary school, is called “I Hope They Call Me On a Mission.”
Alyssa and her husband married in the Mormon church, but she and her husband left the church not long after
Since leaving the Church, Alyssa has frequently spoken about her experiences, from the bizarre dating norms to the hyper-strict rules of Mormon institution Brigham Young University
Commenters on Alyssa’s 58-second video expressed disgust at the songs’ “indoctrination” effect – with many particularly shocked by the Mormon rendition of Baby Got Back
The song is apparently intended to get young children excited about their “mission”: a mandatory rite of passage for Mormons in young adulthood, in which they spend a year traveling to far-flung places and living elsewhere to convert people in distant communities to the Mormon faith.
The lyrics, as Alyssa sang them, go: “I hope they call me on a mission / When I grow a couple inches / I hope by then I’m ready / To teach, preach and work like missionaries do, do-do-do-do.”
People who commented on the YouTube version of Alyssa’s 58-second video were shocked, especially by the parody of Baby Got Back.
“You’re getting a date… a heavenly partner!” Well, that went quickly, one joked.
“I think my brain just had a 404 error. I was NOT prepared for the Mormon indoctrination version of Baby Got Back,” admitted a second.
“What they did to Baby Got Back should be a crime in all 50 states and US territories,” a third declared.
“I expected songs, not THIS,” a fourth added.
“Follow the ‘profits,’” chimed in a fifth, targeting the Mormon Church’s infamous treasury, estimated to be in the hundreds of billions.
‘The most brainwashing thing is that they make three-year-old children sing them. They want them to be doctrinated early so that they don’t question the Church later in life. It’s insane,” a seventh commented, disturbed by the underlying logic.
Alyssa married her Mormon husband in her early twenties.
Soon after, the couple left the Mormon church after dealing with the level of discrimination against women, non-white people, the LGBTQ+ community, and more.
Since then, she has spoken regularly about her experiences, from the bizarre dating norms, to postmortem baptisms and the hyper-strict rules of the Mormon institution Brigham Young University, to the phenomenon of the “cult vote.”