How Mark, the beta geek got a meta makeover

Who’s had a makeover?

Meta boss Mark Zuckerberg.

What did he do?

His new nickname “Mark Zuckerbeard” might give you an idea.

So he got a facial her. Big problem. Find me a clean shaven man in 2024.

Mark Zuckerberg!

But you just said he had grown a beard.

I didn’t. I said he had a makeover. The beard wasn’t real.

Sorry, Mark Zuckerberg has started carrying a fake beard?

It all started late last month, ahead of Meta’s first-quarter earnings report.

It must have been bad if he had to disguise himself.

Details about expected advertising revenue growth have already been forgotten. The biggest news was that Meta’s CEO announced it online with a silver hipster chain.

But…

Stay with me. He had also grown his hair. The disheveled look was more skater boy than Silicon Valley.

But…

I’ll get to the beard. One X/Twitter fan was so inspired by this new cool Zuckerberg that they changed his image to give him designer stubble.

Was the AI ​​beard well received?

People loved it! Even Gwyneth Paltrow joined in.

What did Gwynnie say?

“He looks like my ex-hubs [Chris Martin] in this photo,” the Goop founder wrote. Other X users were a little more direct.

Come on then (we’ll dissect ‘ex-hubs’ another time)…

“I’ll give him more than just my details,” one promised. “I’d punch him,” another offered.

They want to ‘suck things up’ nerdy guy who’s famous for wearing the same gray T-shirt every day?

That was Zuckerberg in 2014. The 2024 incarnation practices mixed martial arts with his top off and likes to go all the way to Yellowstone in a shorn coat.

Oh, we’re okay with men controlling their appearance now, right?

I wouldn’t necessarily say that: there is curation and curation. Barbie star Ryan Gosling’s new puffy face is raising eyebrows (not least his own).

You mean he had fillers?

That’s what people say when he promotes his movie The autumn man.

Well, he clearly doesn’t want his face to go the same way.

Try telling that to the fans. “I’m asking you kindly with the most love in my heart: please get rid of your cheek filler,” someone begged on X. “I need to speak to whoever did Ryan Gosling’s filler,” another posted.

Wait a minute… cosmetic intervention is out, but composed facial hair is fine?

Unless you’re Donald Trump.

There’s no way he’s grown a beard!

No, but observers think it has undergone a major facelift.

Maybe they feel Val Guy Gosling has yet to drop further in the looks department.

Possibly, but whatever Trump does doesn’t seem to diminish his appeal. “Top facelift, he doesn’t beat around the bush,” were typical responses to recent photos.

Where do we stand with his man-tan?

Medium to dark mahogany, enhanced – thinks an X-commenter – by ‘Maybelline mousse foundation’.

Are you suggesting that? overt male makeup is acceptable now?

It’s according to new Swedish company Obayaty, which has just launched in Selfridges on the men’s floor.

Will that really catch on?

“The men’s beauty landscape is still significantly underdeveloped,” said brand co-founder Lajjo Strand. The times.

Around me, the landscape of men’s lipstick is a desolate wasteland.

That’s because men don’t want lipstick.

What do they want then?

Concealer, it seems, and lots of brow tamers.

Perhaps Meta’s CEO could consider investing in this emerging market.

In that case, I’ll call his next online name before anyone else does.

Continue…

Mark Zuckerbrows.