Etiquette experts reveal if it is appropriate to break up with someone via text after the first date

Deciphering dating etiquette is notoriously difficult, especially figuring out what the right move is after a first date that isn’t quite the right connection.

While some singles appreciate a text message after a first date saying it wasn’t a love match, others find it deeply offensive and would prefer both parties to be ghosted.

To find out whether it’s more polite to part ways silently or send a text message to end the first date, FEMAIL reached out to etiquette experts and a matchmaker to weigh in.

Etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts told DailyMail.com: ‘When Carrie Bradshaw’s Sex and the City boyfriend Jack Berger broke up with her on a Post-it note after having a ‘relationship’ it was unforgivable.’

“But after one date, it’s more like… it was nice to meet you. There is no need to break up, just no interest,” revealed Lisa, who goes by the Golden Rules Gal on Instagram.

“If it feels like neither party is interested and a second date is out of the question, it’s appropriate to simply part ways without texting,” Lisa explained. ‘Sometimes silence conveys mutual disinterest better than words.’

Lisa, who lives in San Francisco, said that when it comes to ending things, “timing matters.”

“No matter how much interaction you’ve had, if there’s no connection and plans aren’t discussed, things are bound to fall apart,” Lisa said. ‘But if there are tentative plans or future dates, it would be courteous to send a text message.’

Etiquette expert Thomas P. Farley, also known as Mister Manners, told DailyMail.com that unless one person “follows up and expresses interest in another get-together,” the second person should simply “not initiate any further contact.”

“Ghosting after obvious interest or effort is not friendly,” Lisa continued.

Etiquette expert Thomas P. Farley, also known as Mr. Manners agreed with Lisa, telling DailyMail.com: ‘If the person who was eliminated has already expressed thanks at the end of the evening, there is no rule of etiquette that dictates a text for the next day proclaiming that there will be no next date will be.’

“After one date… a relationship is no longer necessary,” etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts revealed

Mr Manners explained that unless an individual ‘follows up and expresses interest in another get-together’, the second person should simply ‘initiate no further contact’.

“It is far better to let sleeping dogs lie and simply ghost each other than to create awkwardness with well-intentioned politeness,” Mr. Manners declared.

He explained that the only reason to send a text is if concrete plans have been made for a second date — and not just if both parties say, “We need to do this again someday,” which he said is “so often actually means: ‘I have nothing. better to say, but I’m okay with it if we never see each other again.”

The expert said it’s better to send a direct text after one to three dates if “the more interested or enthusiastic party isn’t absorbing the lack of connection.”

Mr Manners advised to keep the text short and simple with a compliment and to remain transparent without becoming too specific.

“Overall, I think it’s better to just let a budding romance fizzle out — as long as both parties seem to go that route,” Thomas summed it up.

“Overall, I think it’s better to simply let a budding romance fizzle out – as long as both parties seem to go that route,” Thomas summed it up (stock image)

Dani Bergman, who starred in the Netflix series Jewish Matchmaking, tells her clients, “If you had a great first date and want to see that person again, would you rather have him or her ghost you or give you a sends a respectful message?’

Dani Bergman, who starred in the Netflix series Jewish Matchmaking, tells her clients, “If you had a great first date and want to see that person again, would you rather have him or her ghost you or give you a sends a respectful message?’

“Respectful, direct messages are the way to go,” says Dani, who leads matchmaking events, told DailyMail.com.

“Tell them you feel the connection and not resentment — this simple interaction can lead you in a different direction.” They could have a boyfriend who would be a better match for her!’

Dani tells her clients to send simple and to the point text messages, giving them a script that says, “Hi, I really appreciate you taking me out tonight; it was a great time! I wanted to share that I am currently dating more consciously and that this is not the connection I am looking for. I wish you the best and hope to see you again!’

She explains that some clients find it a bit unnecessary, but she says this means there are no loose ends.