It’s Pep Guardiola’s spin on Murderball, old Marcelo Bielsa trains for free for all. A quarter throw, three teams of seven, offside enforceable only in the last meters before goal. There don’t seem to be any fouls or an umpire, just physios sticking their hand along the sidelines when someone hangs from the goal.
Manchester City have been doing it for a while and it can be manic, a constantly evolving winner-takes-all game, with teams rotating with one watching from the sidelines.
Highly rated 17-year-old center half Max Alleyne earlier this week; there is perhaps no more forensic test of a youngster’s ability in world football. The goals flew in, Ruben Dias and Bernardo Silva cursing furiously as Sergio Gomez thumped past Stefan Ortega.
The Portuguese pair gestured as they trudged past two others who had been reduced to prowling. The inseparable duo of Erling Haaland and Jack Grealish, wearing yellow bibbs, had been in Lorenzo Buenaventura’s ears when the fitness coach looked at his watch. Effectively asking when it was their turn, over and over again.
Haaland started firing when he thought orange bib’s Kevin De Bruyne had found Ederson’s corner, then slumped over a post leaving him disappointed like a lost puppy. Soon he charged like a bull over Maximo Perrone, shoulder to shoulder with terrifying force, Perrone barely able to keep his balance.
Erling Haaland (centre) showed off his strength in Manchester City’s version of the ‘Murderball’ training drill
Haaland (center) sulking on the sidelines as he waited his turn to join the training drill
The Norwegian’s (right) friendship with Jack Grealish (left) has surprised some, but has added a new dimension to City’s existing dynamic
Haaland and Grealish can’t stand standing on the edge anywhere. Their close relationship surprised many – one was known to love to party, the other was obsessed with blue light glasses and naps – but definitely added a new dimension to City’s existing dynamic.
Coincidentally, they live on the same floor in an apartment complex in the city center, where they can come and go without fuss from a closed entrance. Haaland demanded a pose from Grealish for celebratory photos with him at Wembley last weekend – ‘Jack, are you coming or something?’ — and cursed saying “I love you” while crashing an interview after the title win. Similarly, Haaland likes to playfully point out the difference in their adjustment at City.
“I’ve told Jack that sometimes it takes players maybe a year or so to get into a new league and a new team,” says Haaland with a deadpan grin. “And sometimes players come right in and perform… I told him this. So yes, there was one game, the Community Shield. I missed some great opportunities.’
That day at the King Power Stadium – when City lost to Liverpool and Haaland made a mistake on his debut – feels a long time ago. Fifty-two goals ago; a first season in English football for centuries ago.
In the days following the Community Shield last July, there was a lot of talk about whether Haaland would fit into a Guardiola line-up.
Others said Darwin Nunez, who scored from the bench, would be a better deal. A lad who once played a supporting role in Eastenders, who now makes a living from a series of bizarre viral comments on various subjects, went on television to say that any suggestion that Haaland win the Golden Boot was “disrespectful to the establishment”, which then. that means. No one from Eton has commented yet. He added that 15 Premier League goals would be an ‘incredible’ season.
Anyway, City’s coaches ate all this dumbfounded. So was Haaland. “It can happen, it will happen again,” he says. ‘What can you do? Nothing. We have to focus on the next, the next game and that’s what I did. I scored two goals in the next game [at West Ham]so it still wasn’t a bad start.
‘I’m not stupid, I understand [there are] things with me. I don’t read anything because I think my brain would be a little crazy. Often it’s good when people start criticizing you. I scored every game and then people started criticizing me. That has essentially happened. It’s about smiling a little and enjoying life.”
Haaland was questioned by some critics during his early days at Man City, but has been shining ever since
Haaland looks supremely comfortable in the global fame his goals have spawned
Haaland (left) and Grealish (right) have built strong bonds both on and off the pitch at Man City this season
Haaland is a regular on TV in England, but speaks to the newspapers for the first time since his arrival. A narrow media pen is bursting at the seams. Six rows deep, reporters stand in chairs, trying to shout questions at the Norwegian.
He seems somewhat bewildered by this, with a slightly confused look as Inquisitors yell over each other for the entire six minutes that he’s on the other side of a barrier.
But he’s comfortable. He is comfortable with stardom, that at 22 he already has the allure of a Zlatan Ibrahimovic or Cristiano Ronaldo. Haaland understands that he is a piece of meat, just like the South American cuts he cooked for himself at City’s title party in MNKY Hse’s kitchen.
Guardiola’s dietitians, who saw him gorge on a seafood buffet during the pre-season tour in Wisconsin in a way they’d never seen before, apparently tweaked the eating rules slightly for him, while Alfie Haaland’s lucky pre-match lasagna wasn’t on this weekend. the menu is. given week City flew to Istanbul on Thursday.
His son has baked defenders all over the place this season, scoring 12 in Europe ahead of Saturday’s Champions League final against Inter and a shot at the Treble. And he’s not shy about admitting there’s one big reason why City brought him to this club. This is it, Saturday. What he’s here for.
There was a time at the start of the season when some suggested Liverpool’s Darwin Nunez (left) would prove to be a better signing than Haaland (right)
Simplistically, it’s perfectly reasonable to suggest that Haaland can prove the difference between nearly men and conquerors. Not even for the number of goals scored – that total number is broadly the same as last year – but when they are scored. City have endured fewer days where they squandered golden opportunities on the biggest podiums as the main man barely takes that into account when it really matters.
‘It [to be the difference] would of course mean everything,” says Haaland. Not just for the individual appreciation and what it means for a group of players who have come so close. With Haaland, the club occupies a special place.
He had kits from all of Alfie’s clubs, including Nottingham Forest and Leeds United, but apparently more were sky blue. He scuttled around on Maine Road as a toddler. He celebrates every goal as if he were in the stands. There is a connection here that cannot be ignored.
‘Of course I feel pressure. I’d be lying if I said no,” he says. “You say it yourself and it’s true – they won every trophy without me. So I’m here to try and do something the club has never done before and I’ll do my best.
“Of course, if you had said this scenario before the season, I wouldn’t be thinking about it. But then again, when you look at the team, how close they’ve been to every trophy every season, it’s not like it wasn’t possible.
Manchester City have won everything without Haaland, but the Champions League still eludes them
Haaland laughed off questions about his recent goals, having scored just once in seven games
“I didn’t expect to score so many goals, but I could have scored more. I missed a lot of chances, so I could have scored more. That is the truth.’
It’s really just one of his last seven appearances, although some of them have been off the bench and have already won the league title. Haaland actually came under criticism during the FA Cup final, a product of expectation, but engaged Raphael Varane and Victor Lindelof in a way that upset them both – further proof that he has improved as a traditional number 9.
But one in seven? Haaland brought up the dry spell himself. However, when pressed, he gets a little smart. “You can think of it as one goal in seven games or 52 goals in 52 games and eight assists, I think. You can think of it in two ways. I’m not stressed. I feel very good.’
He leaves with a grin. Gone to more people yelling at him, gone to see autograph hunters swarm his Rolls Royce at the gates, gone to find Jack Grealish. Maybe gone to write his name in City history.