EPHRAIM HARDCASTLE: Prince Andrew is frustrated he cannot pursue his business interests in the US

Prince Andrew’s bewilderment that he has not yet received his share of his mother’s £370 million fortune is matched by his frustration at not being able to pursue his remaining business interests in the US.

He hasn’t crossed the pond since May 2017, when he was in Los Angeles visiting his old friend Michael Milken.

Milken, an American billionaire financier, encouraged Andrew to promote his Pitch@Palace venture and is now encouraging Andrew to return to the corporate world.

Unfortunately, should the Epstein-tainted Andrew pack his stuffed animals for a transatlantic trip, the FBI, still eager to interview him, might be waiting for him on the tarmac.

BBC World News presenter Laura Trevelyan, whose family donated £100,000 to Grenada and apologized for their role in slavery, asks the Radio Times how far King Charles is prepared to go in acknowledging the royal family’s role in punishing the slave trade.

HM would be far too polite to ask gently how far Laura would go to explain her four-time great-grandfather Sir Charles Trevelyan’s role in the Irish famine.

Trevelyan, the official responsible for the famine when a million people went hungry, stated, “The judgment of God sent the disaster to teach the Irish a lesson.”

If King Charles wrote his children’s story The Old Man of Lochnagar today, would he find a publisher?

The 1980 story of a Balmoral hermit living in a cave features an old man (age discrimination), a race of short people in Scotland (hurtful to the disabled), farting (bad taste), a toilet playing the bagpipes when he is flushed (racial overtones), unnatural use of animals (cruelty), and a tartan-clad woman angrily urging a station master with an umbrella over her canceled train (unnecessary violence).

Could it catch the attention of Dahl’s sensitive readers?

Former Chancellor George Osborne, who appears alongside succession actor Brian Cox on Channel 4’s The Andrew Neil Show, describes himself as a “starstruck fan” of the Scot’s famous alter ego Logan Roy, as he cheekily asks: “I don’t know if she it will allow it on Channel 4 so we can hear Logan Roy’s most famous [‘f*** off!’] tagline?’ Cox replies, “George, you have to pay me a huge amount of money to swear … that’s what I’m counting on now.”

Indeed. Brian is currently charging £572 per video to berate fans Logan style.

After dropping Gary Lineker from Match Of The Day without checking to see if he had a replacement ready, BBC Director General Tim Davie emerges with a new nickname. Like Vladimir Putin, who thought he could easily rid Ukraine of Volodymyr Zelensky, Tim is now known as “Vlad.”

Banshees of Inisherin director Martin McDonagh, who comes out of the Oscars without a gong, won’t be amused by Charles Moore and his wife Caroline’s discovery of a howler monkey in the movie when Jenny vomits the donkey before choking on a finger.

“Donkeys,” observed his lordship, “like horses and cows, cannot vomit.”