Emily Attack reflects on her teenage years

Emily Atack broke down in tears as she bared her feelings about receiving hundreds of unsolicited messages and photos from men online.

The 33-year-old reality TV star was speaking in her documentary Emily Attack: Asking For It? since she admitted that she felt guilty about the messages that strangers bombard her daily through Instagram.

Emily wiped away tears as she told her mother, Kate Robbins, that she finds it “difficult” to talk about it because it affects her and the people around her.

She told Kate: “I see the pain in your face when we try to talk about things. We can’t talk about them because it’s too difficult.

Kate said: “It’s very difficult: the prevailing feeling of guilt is difficult to explain to people.”

Starting to cry, Emily said, ‘I don’t know why I’m getting upset, I think I’m just so tired. I’m sorry, it’s so awkward.

Reaching over to hug her daughter, Kate said: ‘It’s not your fault, don’t blame yourself.’

Emily then reflected on her teenage years, revealing that she got more drunk than others at parties and hung out with boys.

She shared that they were afraid of men and adopted the behavior as a coping mechanism, opening up to men and boys from an early age after having her first sexual experience with an 18-year-old when she was 12.

Emily has been exploring the inappropriate unsolicited sexual messages she receives from men and the fact that she blames herself for them.

She said: ‘What I really want to say is that girl at school, we all know one, the girl who gets drunk the most at a party and runs off with all the guys, there’s another story.

Emily continued: “She’s not doing that because she wants to, because she likes sex and taking her tits out, she feels like there’s no other way to be right now and she’s looking in all the wrong places.”

“It’s very easy to become ‘scum’, but you shouldn’t have to look for those things when you’re 13 years old.” If so, obviously there is some pain.

“I speak from experience, I have never felt as much pain as when I behaved in that way.”

The star then revealed that both men and women treated her a certain way afterward.

He said that is why he believes the messages he receives are his fault, adding: “The men are shooting at us ‘you asked for’, it is to avoid accountability.”

But Emily then said, ‘We’re not asking for it. It is your behavior that has to change.

Earlier on the show, Emily got into an argument with her mother Kate after reading the messages she receives and became upset.

She said: ‘I didn’t expect it to be so vile, I felt like my daughter was raped and I couldn’t protect you.’

Her daughter then revealed that she felt guilty because she blamed herself for showing her the messages and making her sad.

But her mother assured her that she had left the room at that time because it was difficult for her to see the screenshots.

Later, Emily cried when her mother hugged her and told her not to blame herself for the messages.

Kate said: ‘I’m so sorry that you’ve felt all your life that everything has been your fault, it hasn’t. She was just trying to do things to protect you as a mother. You should never blame yourself.

It comes after Emily appeared on Tuesday’s episode of This Morning, saying she’s become an “easy target” for online predators because she’s single and has an unwarranted reputation for “sleeping with a lot of men.”

She said: “I’m just trying to live my life as a free woman without being harassed… when you get messages like that you feel so alone and isolated, it’s this spiral of self-doubt and shame and self-doubt.”

Atack said one of her regular abusers online is a married father who frequently creates fake accounts to send her sexually explicit messages.

“He says he puts his kids to bed and then he comes just to harass me,” she told hosts Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield.

‘So, well, sometimes he asks me if I’m going to get involved with him and his wife. Then he says, “I want to do it behind my wife’s back while my kids sleep.”

“He calls himself ‘Dad Dave’ to me and constantly says the word ‘dad’, which is really horrible psychologically.”

While the actress is eager to track down criminals, many of whom are hiding their true identities, she remains wary of destroying someone’s family.

She said: ‘I’m terrified of exposing someone and ruining their life… I feel like I’m on a crusade with it now, I won’t change the way I dress or delete my accounts.’

‘You can be a sex worker or a nun and it happens. I’ve learned that this isn’t about you, it’s about them and their quest for power. For women and girls, our safety should not be up for debate. These issues are not being heard enough.’

The actress says she reached out to Instagram and TikTok for help shutting down some of the offending accounts, but was met with a wall of silence.

Social media moderators also closed her account on one occasion after she “violated” the house rules by reposting a vile message in an attempt to shame its sender.

She recalled: “There was a message that upset me a lot, I put it up and my account was suspended for a couple of days because I reposted the photograph.”

Emily Attack: Ask? is available on BBC IPlayer