Elephant Peach just awakened something in Bowser

You’d think that after 35 years of kidnapping Peaches, Bowser might take the hint. It’s not on you, bro! Unfortunately for the Queen of the Mushroom Kingdom, Bowser’s machinations seem to only increase with the release of the populace Super Mario Bros later this month — a game where Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, and Toad can all turn into elephants.

Turns out, Bowser really cooks in elephants.

On Wednesday, Nintendo simply and casually confirmed this particular back a short clip sees Bowser trying to seduce Prince Peach with a flower. Incensed as an offering, the peach is then struck by the Elephant Fruit’s power and gains the thickness of a pachyderm, much to the delight of the shocked King Koopa. You see in his eyes: Here he awakened something carnal, deeply in his turtledove. Whatever affection Bowser had for the Persian turns into pure obsession when compared to his superior bulk, mass, and strength.

Look at this loose mouth, weirdo old lady.

In teaching, this revelation could a peach would be useful. Perhaps Bowser will come to terms with his new attraction, and Koopa will seek out a queen that is more to his particular taste than some delicate human princess. Since elephants don’t seem to exist in the Mushroom Kingdom outside of fruitful power struggles, though, it may be difficult for Bowser to find a suitable, consensual mate that suits his newly awakened interests. Whatever they are, they don’t seem to have known peaches in their human form.

Now I’m rolling in the bow, hoping to check my raptured life, and spend a while in elephant apps, or flying around in the clown’s clown finding truths; reciprocal to love.

Super Mario Bros Nintendo Switch comes Oct. You can read more about the new 2D side-scrolling Mario in Polygon’s hands in the preview.