EDEN CONFIDENTIAL: Lofty profits for 6ft 7in Office comic Stephen Merchant 

Stephen Merchant, who once regretted not writing more episodes of The Office with Ricky Gervais because he would have “three Bentleys by now,” should be able to afford his own fleet.

I can reveal that the comedian made a profit of £4.3million last year at the company he channels his earnings through, SJJM.

Towering over his 5ft 6in American model and actress girlfriend Mircea Monroe, 40, the 6ft 7in star, 47, has accrued a profit in SJJM of £22.6million.

Now Sussexes are frowned upon in the royal website pecking order

Prince Harry and Meghan are eagerly awaiting the release of patent letters from King Charles confirming that their children can be called Prince and Princess.

In the meantime, the notoriously sensitive California-dwelling couple must face another snarl.

I hear the Duke and Duchess of Sussex were demoted on the official royal website on Monday.

They are still listed in the ‘Members of the Royal Family’ section, but have been moved to King Charles’ first cousins ​​after removal. To make matters worse, there is now only one member of the family among them – and that is Prince Andrew, who relinquished royal duties following the scandal because of his ties to convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.

“I hope this doesn’t end badly in Montecito,” said a royal source. “The change has been made because the Duke and Duchess are no longer royal members, unlike those who now appear above them.”

The move follows the example of Queen Elizabeth’s funeral last week, when Harry and Meghan sat in the second row at Westminster Abbey. And at the Platinum Jubilee service at St Paul’s Cathedral in June, the pair looked dismayed to discover they were behind the Queen’s cousins, the Dukes of Kent and Gloucester, even though Harry is still fifth in line. of succession.

In the ‘Members of the Royal Family’ section of the website, Harry now suffers the humiliation of being placed under Princess Alexandra, a cousin of the Queen, who is 56th in the line of succession.

In the “Success” section, Sussexen’s children are still listed as “Master Archie Mountbatten-Windsor” and “Miss Lilibet Mountbatten-Windsor.”

Since the death of the Queen, they are technically a Prince and Princess because of the rules set by George V in 1917.

In the Sussexes’ Oprah Winfrey interview, Meghan claimed Archie wasn’t made a prince because of his race — even though George V’s rules meant he wasn’t entitled to it until his grandfather was monarch.

A Palace source tells me the update was made “to reflect the role played by working members of the Royal Family.”

You need a different gear to be 007, James!

James Bond always manages to look stylish, no matter how improbable the circumstances.

The same cannot be said of James Norton, who has been tipped to succeed Daniel Craig as the next 007.

The 37-year-old Grantchester and Happy Valley star seemed far removed from the sophisticated spy when he met fans on a leisurely bike ride in London’s Soho. In a green T-shirt and jeans, which he rolled up to his knees, Norton was recognized by two women with whom he liked to chat.

Earlier this year, I announced that the teacher’s son had proposed to actress Imogen Poots, 33, whom he first met when they appeared together at the Donmar Warehouse in Belleville in 2017.

Osborne Auntie’s Smashing Story

She was aunt of former Chancellor George Osborne and wife of Antony Little, co-founder of wallpaper and fabric company Osborne & Little.

But Jennifer Little, who has passed away at age 83, was closer to her late half-brother, the untamed — and indomitable — casino and wildlife park owner John Aspinall.

While Aspinall paraded a tiger around Belgravia, Jennifer installed “a black-brown tree-climbing ant-eating bear” in her Chelsea flat. But critics were ill-advised to express their doubts about the family. A young man, Jennifer recalled, “began to make unkind comments about my mother, Lady Osborne, and my… [half]brother, John Aspinall. The closest was convenient [a] champagne bottle, so I gave it to him.’

The bottle shattered against a table “after being knocked off his head.” Miraculously, the young man recovered.

A birthday party for Zeta-Jones

Fatal Attraction star Michael Douglas is determined to show he still has plenty of appetite.

He turned 78 the same day his Welsh wife and fellow Hollywood star Catherine Zeta-Jones celebrated her 53rd birthday.

And yesterday Douglas shared with fans this photo of the cake for the occasion.

It had candles with the number 25. That is on the occasion of September 25, not the age difference between the couple.

• His uncle, Prince Jefri, enjoyed his pleasures by buying virtually everything he saw – spending an average of £300,000 a day on cars, women and essentials such as gold-plated toilet brushes and ten jewel-encrusted watches depicting a copulating couple. But Prince Mateen of Brunei – one of the sons of the Sultan of Brunei from his second marriage – prefers to jump out of planes. He has just passed Basic Parachute Course 1137 at RAF Brize Norton. Maybe he’ll jump in on the 180ft yacht his uncle used to own – called T**s. Or on one of the tenders – christened, by Prince Jefri, Nipple 1 and Nipple 2.

• Vanessa Feltz left guests at the Golden Chopsticks Awards with a bad taste in their mouths. At the award ceremony for the best restaurant in England, Feltz remarked: ‘Everyone always says, ‘If you want to find a Jewish person, go to a Chinese restaurant, because the Chinese have good food.’ But here’s the question, do you ever see anyone Chinese in a kosher restaurant? Why is that? I don’t know.’ A stunned guest at London’s Marriott Hotel in Grosvenor Square tells me, ‘You could have heard a pin drop in the room. If it was a joke, nobody thought it was funny.’