Ed Sheeran has revealed that he feels like he only grew up after the death of his good friend Jamal Edwards.
The music producer and the son of Brenda Edwards, star of Loose Women, tragically died after suffering a cardiac arrest caused by using cocaine and drinking alcohol in February 2022 at the age of 31.
Ed, 32, found Jamal’s death hard to come to terms with and said he felt lucky he wasn’t grieving until he was 30, unlike some of his school friends whose parents died when they were young.
In an interview with training brand Peleton, he said, “The one thing I’ve realized is that the moment death happens, a very near death, is when you come of age.
That’s when growing up starts, that’s when real-life s*** starts. You can be six and experience that and it’s just cruel that it’s the end of your childhood.’
Candid: Ed Sheeran has revealed he feels like he only came of age after the death of his close friend Jamal Edwards
Heartbreaking: The music producer and son of Brenda Edwards, star of Loose Women, tragically died after suffering a cardiac arrest caused by using cocaine and drinking alcohol in February 2022 at the age of 31
After Jamal’s death, Ed found he could talk to his friends and his mother Imogen about the losses they had suffered.
He said, “As soon as this happened I noticed they opened up to me. I noticed my mom opening up to me about losses in her life that she had never talked to me about.”
Discussing his family life, Ed revealed that his daughter Juniper helps him to stay grounded in difficult times.
He said, “During grief with children, they have a great time. But it’s also just their world. You know, she’s sad, she’s sad, she’s happy, she’s happy, but you have to ride along.’
Several tracks from Ed’s album Subtract were pulled at the last minute as the record became more focused on grief after Jamal’s death.
However, he still thinks the scrapped songs will eventually be released, adding: All the other music made for Subtract is still there.
“I don’t know if it’s turning into Subtracted or something else, but it’s going to see the light of day.”
Ed burst into tears as he reflected on Jamal’s tragic death in his new Disney+ documentary series Ed Sheeran: The Sum Of It All.
Friends: Ed found Jamal’s death hard to deal with and shared how he feels lucky he didn’t grieve until he was 30
Heartbreaking: Ed burst into tears as he candidly discussed Jamal’s death in his new Disney+ documentary series
His wife Cherry Seaborn later added that the singer had not had time to come to terms with the loss as Jamal’s death came weeks after she feared she had cancer and had to delay treatment as she was pregnant with their second child.
Reflecting on his friendship with Jamal, Ed said, “I actually lived in his bedroom. His mother thought we were in a relationship.
Jamal died in the morning. I was at his mother’s house for lunch. It’s the Caribbean culture, you go to the parental home for nine days and nine nights. On the ninth night they throw a big party.
“Grief immediately ends your youth. The funeral was about 30 people, but he knows about 10,000 people.”
The pair became close after Jamal’s YouTube channel SBTV helped put Ed in the spotlight, and the entrepreneur gave the aspiring musician a place to sleep when he was 18 and had no place to live in London.
The documentary showed Ed attending a cookout in memory of Jamal with his mother Brenda, and bursting into tears in the back of a car.
Sobbing, The Shape Of Your hitmaker added, “It’s his first birthday and he’s not here. It’s still very raw. It’s very real. His grave, we go by it often, it just feels so weird that he’s among a lot of people he didn’t know.
Couple: His wife Cherry Seaborn later added that the singer had not had time to process the loss as Jamal’s death came weeks after it was feared she might have cancer
It’s all pure sadness. It’s terrible. I know everyone is going through it. It’s a common thing that you can’t ignore.
“I felt like I wasn’t really an adult until I experienced grief, loss. It just took over my whole life. It’s just weird. I was thinking I don’t want to cry in front of 78,000 people. I found myself very close at times.
‘It’s just crazy, right back to it. The show must go on.’
Reflecting on honoring his friend’s legacy, Ed added, “Jamal’s legacy is empowering people to be who they want to be. All he did was grab a camera and start filming his friends, and put it on YouTube when he was 14.
“I don’t want my legacy to be Shape Of You or Perfect. I would really like my legacy to essentially say to kids “just do what you want to do.”
“I want kids to be like ‘Ed’s from Ipswich, I’m from Ipswich, I can do it.'”
‘Music has always been a kind of therapy for me, to sort out my thoughts and feelings. It functions.’