Ed Sheeran has opened up about dealing with suicidal thoughts after the death of his best friend Jamal Edwards.
Jamal, music producer and son of Loose Women star Brenda Edwards, tragically died after cardiac arrest brought on by cocaine and alcohol in February 2022 at the age of 31.
Ed, 32, said he felt like he was “drowning” when another close friend, Australian cricketer Shane Warne, passed away the following month.
In a gritty interview with Rolling Stone, he explained that he was ashamed of his suicidal thoughts because they seemed “selfish.”
Speaking about his depression, he said: ‘My best friend died. And he shouldn’t have.
‘I have always had very low moments in my life. But it wasn’t really until last year that I really tackled it.
Candid: Ed Sheeran has opened up about coping with suicidal thoughts after the death of his best friend Jamal Edwards
Tragic: Jamal, music producer and son of Loose Women star Brenda Edwards, tragically died after cardiac arrest brought on by cocaine and alcohol in February 2022 at the age of 31.
Trigger: Ed, 32, described feeling as though he was “drowning” when another close friend, Australian cricketer Shane Warne, passed away the following month.
‘I felt that I didn’t want to live anymore. And I’ve had that all my life… You’re under the waves drowning. You’re sort of on this thing. And you can’t get out of it.
He added that depression seemed “selfish, especially as a parent. I feel really embarrassed about that.
With the help of his wife Cherry Seaborn, who told him to get help, Ed began seeing a therapist.
He explained, “No one really talks about their feelings where I come from,” he says. “People think it’s strange to get a therapist in England… I think it’s very helpful to be able to talk to someone and just let off steam and not feel guilty about letting off steam.”
He continued: ‘Help is not a button you push, where you’re automatically fine. It’s something that will always be there and just has to be managed.’
In another part of the candid chat, Ed opened up about his alcohol and drug use and how he ended up quitting both.
He explained: ‘I was always a drinker. I did not touch any type of drug until I was 24 years old.
He admitted to using “some” substances, but declined to name them for fear his children would read it one day.
Ed said: “I remember being at a festival and saying, ‘Well, if all my friends do it, it can’t be that bad.
‘And then some sort of raid. And then it becomes a habit that you do once a week and then once a day and then twice a day and then non-alcoholic. It just turned into bad vibes.
Talking about how he gave up hard alcohol, he explained that once again it was his wife Cherry who brought things into focus.
He recalled: “Two months before Lyra was born, Cherry said, ‘If my water breaks, do you really want someone else to take me to the hospital?’
‘Because I was drinking a lot. And that’s when she clicked. I was like, “No, actually, I really don’t.” And I don’t want to get mad holding my son again. Always always.
Having a couple of beers is one thing. But drinking a bottle of vodka is something else. It’s just realizing, “I’m hitting thirty. Grow up! You’ve been out partying, you’ve had this experience. Be happy with it and be done with it.”
I love red wine and I love beer. I don’t know an old rocker who isn’t alcoholic or sober, and I didn’t want to be either.
Jamal’s death from a combination of cocaine and alcohol has cemented Ed’s feelings about drugs.
He insisted: ‘I would never, ever touch anything again, because that’s how Jamal died. And that’s disrespectful to the memory of him even, like, getting close.
The star paid tribute to Jamal earlier this year with a rousing freestyle that he filmed at Stamford Bridge, the home of Chelsea FC, of which Jamal was a fan.
Paying tribute to his friend during an interview with BBC News, Ed said he thinks he wouldn’t be the star he is now without Jamal’s support.
“I really don’t think I would have been given the opportunities that I was given if it hadn’t been for Jamal putting his arm around me,” he said.
Ashamed: In a gritty interview with Rolling Stone, he explained that he felt ashamed of his suicidal thoughts because they seemed “selfish.”
Get help: With the help of his wife Cherry Seaborn, who told him to get help, Ed began seeing a therapist.
Support: Talking about how he gave up hard alcohol, he explained that once again it was his wife Cherry who brought things into focus.
He added that he had been performing in the acoustic scene for several years before Jamal discovered him and asked him to perform on his YouTube channel.
In May 2022, Ed also revealed that he had welcomed his second child with wife Cherry Seaborn, daughter Jupiter.
Announcing the news on Instagram, Ed wrote: ‘I want to let everyone know that we have had another beautiful baby girl. We are both so in love with her, and delighted to be a family of 4.’
Ed and Cherry are already proud parents of two-year-old daughter Lyra after getting married in 2019.