Ed Sheeran breaks down as he reflects on grief after Jamal Edwards’ death

Ed Sheeran burst into tears as he candidly discussed the tragic death of his good friend Jamal Edwards in his new Disney+ documentary series.

Jamal, a music producer and the son of Loose Women star Brenda Edwards, tragically died after suffering a cardiac arrest caused by using cocaine and drinking alcohol in February 2022 at the age of 31.

And in his touching series, Ed admitted that he had “experienced no grief and loss” until Jamal’s death, and it “took over his whole life.”

Looking back on their friendship, Ed said, “I actually lived in his bedroom. His mother thought we were in a relationship.

Jamal died in the morning. I was at his mother’s house for lunch. In the Caribbean culture you go to the parental home for nine days and nine nights. On the ninth night, they throw a big party.

“Grief immediately ends your youth. The funeral was about 30 people, but he knows about 10,000 people.”

The documentary then showed Ed attending a cookout in memory of Jamal with his mother Brenda, and bursting into tears in the back of a car.

Sobbing, The Shape Of Your hitmaker added, “It’s his first birthday and he’s not here. It’s still very raw. It’s very real. His grave, we go by it often, it just feels so weird that he’s among a lot of people he didn’t know.

It’s all pure sadness. It’s terrible. I know everyone is going through it. It’s a common thing that you can’t ignore.

“I felt like I wasn’t really an adult until I experienced grief, loss. It just took over my whole life.

“It’s good to be distracted, but this morning at 1am I was washing his mural. It’s just weird. I was thinking I don’t want to cry in front of 78,000 people. I found myself very close at times.

‘It’s just crazy, right back to it. The show must go on.’

Heartbreaking: The producer tragically passed away after a cardiac arrest caused by using cocaine and drinking alcohol in February 2022 at the age of 31 (pictured with Ed)

Reflecting on honoring his friend’s legacy, Ed added, “Jamal’s legacy is empowering people to be who they want to be. All he did was grab a camera and start filming his friends, and put it on YouTube when he was 14.

“I don’t want my legacy to be Shape Of You or Perfect. I would really like my legacy to essentially say to kids “just do what you want to do.”

“I want kids to be like ‘Ed’s from Ipswich, I’m from Ipswich, I can do it.’

‘Music has always been a kind of therapy for me, to sort out my thoughts and feelings. It functions.’

Ed’s documentary series also saw him reflect on his wife Cherry Seaborn’s cancer diagnosis, which came just weeks before Jamal’s shock death.

In the third episode of the series, Ed admitted that in the midst of these struggles, he expressed himself through his songwriting.

He added, “I got hit with heavy stuff one after the other. They found a tumor in Cherry’s arm. The diagnosis was wrong. She was pregnant and there’s nothing they can do.

“Then all of a sudden I’m in this three-week trial. Then Jamal dies.

“The moment you find out that the worst thing in the world has happened to someone you really love with all your heart, you feel like you’re drowning and can’t get out of it.

‘It was precisely from that situation that all these songs came out.

“I remember sitting in this specialist’s waiting room thinking the worst was about to happen. I’m worried about Cherry, the unborn daughter inside her. You start writing a song and you get some air and that’s why songs are written.’

His wife Cherry also admitted that Ed has “processed” the loss of Jamal, adding: “The hard thing about grief is everyone gathers around you at first, six months later that wears off.

“Everything has been so busy and there is an attitude, especially in Brtian, to keep going.

“I’m in a much better place from a processing perspective. I don’t think Ed is still here. He had absolutely no time to process things and be at peace with them. He’s been too busy. He has to stop. He has to process, he hasn’t processed at all.’

Earlier this month, Ed revealed that the opening track to his forthcoming album sums up his feelings about depression as he sings, “The more I love, the less I feel.”

Ed, whose album Subtract will be released on May 5, has dedicated Boat, the first track of his sixth body of work, to the arduous battle he’s waged over the past few years against grief, illness and addiction.

Accompanying the new song, which was written by English Coast, Ed premiered a video of him being lashed by waves on a shore.

The father-of-two, who has documented his overwhelming feelings of depression in his upcoming series, sings “but the waves won’t break my boat,” symbolizing his hope and determination as he recovers from a series of trying events.

In artwork captured by Annie Leibovitz, Ed can be seen running free from the crashing waves.