EastEnders’ Max Bowden discusses struggle with ‘relentless pain and anger’ following death of best friend which left him ‘unable to cope’ after being axed from the soap

EastEnders’ Max Bowden has spoken of his struggle with ‘relentless pain and anger’ following the death of his best friend.

The actor, 29, who starred as Phil Mitchell’s troubled eldest son Ben, ‘couldn’t cope’ and was later axed from the soap.

In 2021, he announced that his “heart is in pieces” after losing Luke Goodings, one of his “oldest” friends, to suicide.

It has been a devastating year for Max, who also lost another friend and celebrity agent, Terry Mills, and his grandfather in February.

In an Instagram update on Wednesday, the soap star read out Hussain Manawer’s emotional poem You May Have Died, But You Are Still Alive, as he candidly discussed his struggles with grief and his “personal journey.”

The actor, who starred as Ben, Phil Mitchell’s troubled eldest son, ‘couldn’t cope’ after losing one of his ‘oldest’ friends Luke Goodings to suicide and was later axed from the soap.

Alongside the black and white clip, he wrote: “Let’s talk about sadness. Really moved when Hussain asked Manawer this morning to read his poem ‘You may have died, but you are still alive’ on camera.

‘This comes in the wake of a personal journey of self-love and acceptance in my final stages of grief, gaining a new perspective on what happened and the profound effect it has had on me and my daily life.

‘Let’s face it, death is one of life’s certainties, yet we are inherently shaken by it when it happens and our lives spiral out of control – this is being human.

‘For a long time I felt unable to cope with the pain and brutal anger I felt towards the world after so much loss, well documented publicly.

‘I now feel like it is time for me to open an honest, candid and accepting conversation about the human experience of grief through discussion and art.

“I would love to hear how anyone is personally dealing with grief right now, whether it’s positive or negative in the comments, so that we can somehow create a world where we help the majority.

“In the meantime, listen to the beauty of these words from a true wordsmith, and remember: this too shall pass.”

EastEnders star Max is reportedly leaving the soap after four years playing Ben Mitchell.

In an Instagram update on Wednesday, the soap star read out Hussain Manawer’s emotional poem as he candidly discussed his struggles with grief and his “personal journey.”

in 2021, he took to his Instagram Story to share an emotional tribute to his late friend, pictured, saying: ‘I will always love you my brother’

Max posted a photo of Luke in 2021, sharing his anger and writing: ‘The heart is in pieces right now.

“Lukey, I will always love you, my brother. Just rest now. Freestyle up there.” (sic)

In December it was claimed that BBC bosses had decided not to renew his contract when it expires in March.

His final scenes will air in the spring, but it is understood that his character Ben, who has been played by numerous actors in the past, will not be killed off.

An EastEnders spokesperson told MailOnline: ‘Max will be leaving EastEnders next year. We wish him all the best for the future.’

A TV insider added: ‘Max has been playing Ben for the past four years and bosses decided his time on the show was over.

“There’s been a lot of noise around him for a little too long and that can take away from the drama in the show.

‘He went for an interview because his contract would be extended next year. No one knew how things would go and after consultation it was decided that he would leave.’

MailOnline has contacted the BBC for comment.

In December it was claimed that BBC bosses decided not to renew his contract when it expires in March, with his final scenes airing this year (pictured on EastEnders)

Max, the sixth actor to play Ben, has been involved in some of the soap’s biggest storylines of late.

Ben struggled to cope with the death of Lola Pearce-Brown (Danielle Harold), who was the mother of his daughter Lexi.

Character Ben developed an eating disorder bulimia while trying to cope with his grief.