What a dream about your boss or a celebrity really means. A top psychologist reveals how what happens in your sleep can reveal your darkest secrets…

It is a common misconception that we have no control over what happens in our dreams. But in fact, we are entirely responsible for creating those nighttime escapades.

When we sleep, the logical, meaning-making part of the brain shuts down, but the subconscious mind remains active. This allows us to create the fantastic experiences, stories and characters that appear in our dreams.

Dreaming about a strange interaction between Taylor Swift, your boss, and a neighbor can be confusing. However, these seemingly random characters were selected based on their ability to help us process emotions.

The sooner you realize that You the person in the director’s chair, the faster your dreams will come to life. Here I help you decipher what these characters symbolize…

Family member

When your mother, father or a sibling appears in your dream, ask yourself what that person means to you.

If it’s your mother, you may be trying to appeal to her caring nature. If your father was a disciplinarian, you may be trying to bring that sense of order into your waking life.

To dream of family members may indicate that your subconscious is seeking inspiration from those closest to you, and that they may determine how to deal with a problem you are facing.

If you are still having trouble understanding why this person appears in your dreams, try talking or even walking like them. This can help you activate the part of your psyche that is reflected by them.

Old school friend

If someone from school appears in your dream, it may symbolize a lesson that your subconscious mind feels you need to learn. School often symbolizes learning and being judged on how well we can perform a skill. It may mean that you are judging yourself too harshly or being too self-critical.

Think about what made that friend stand out when you were in school. If they were good at math, that might be a sign that you need to be more calculating, or if they excelled in geography, you might want to consider taking a specific situation and looking at it from a different perspective.

Boss or colleague

We usually experience emotional tension in the workplace and try to resolve this in our dreams. Ask yourself what striking qualities that colleague displays that your subconscious may have latched onto. Are they relaxed? Good with people? Efficient?

If your boss appears, you don’t have to worry. The dream is not about him or her specifically, but about the qualities you associate with your boss, good or bad.

Stranger

When a stranger appears in your dream, you are likely becoming aware of some unknown part of your own identity or some quality that is not yet known in someone you know.

Strangers often appear in dreams when you are facing a big opportunity in your waking life that requires you to perform in a way that you may not be familiar with. It is a good sign for your self-growth.

Romantic encounter

The language associated with sex is the same we use for creativity and procreation: you sow the “seed” of an idea, it gets your “juices flowing,” and it becomes a “labor of love.”

So the character in your sexual dream has been placed there by your subconscious mind to help you create an idea using the qualities you associate with that person.

A romantic encounter with someone outside of your gender preference does not make you gender-curious. Rather, it is an indication that you are more comfortable with your own femininity or masculinity.

You may surprise yourself by falling madly in love with someone in your dream. The person will embody a character trait that you find desirable, although usually not in a romantic way, and the rush of joy and excitement that you feel in the dream is explained by your subconscious realization that you too have the potential to demonstrate this quality.

It is important to remember that just because you have a romantic dream about someone does not mean you have romantic feelings for that person in real life.

Celebrity

It’s common for celebrities to appear in our dreams, and the choice of a famous person can be surprisingly random.

When this happens, think about the qualities you associate with that celebrity. Creating this character in your dreams may indicate a desire to rekindle a talent that you have not used in a while.

It’s no coincidence that when The X Factor first launched, Simon Cowell was on many people’s dreams, as his role was to unleash dormant talent on the show.

Bad person

Dreams are a chance to confront powerful forces in your waking life. A scary dream about a serial killer, for example, is unlikely to spell doom. Try to engage with the dream on a symbolic level and ask yourself, “What is my subconscious urging me to kill?”

If you dream that you are trying to hide from evil forces, ask yourself if there is a goal or ambition in your real life that you are trying to hide from and that is preventing you from reaching your full potential.

Being chased by soldiers may mean that in real life you need to adopt some of those disciplined, aggressive traits and be more assertive.

Would your life be better if people followed your orders and demands?

• Ian Wallace is the author of Decode Your Dreams (£14.99, Quarto).

• As told to Louise Atkinson.