Dr. Justin Coulson: A parenting expert’s heartbreak as his cousin commits suicide at 20: the devastating moment the surfer was found dead – and the heartbreaking phone call to his holidaying parents

Parenting expert Dr. Justin Coulson revealed a family tragedy on Tuesday: his beloved surfing cousin Logan had taken his own life at just 20 years old.

In stark words on social media, Dr Coulson said: ‘My cousin died on Sunday night. He died by suicide.”

Logan was staying at Doctor Coulson’s parents’ house the night he took his own life. “My mom and dad – his grandpa and grandma – found him Monday morning,” he wrote.

After the reality of what had just happened, the grandparents had to call their daughter, Logan’s mother, to tell her the devastating news.

She was in Melbourne with her husband celebrating a special weekend, and they had to tell her to come home because her son had just passed away.

Dr. Coulson, presenter of Channel Nine’s Parental Guidance programme, said his nephew was “the most energetic and delightful child I know”. Friendly. Pleasure. Laughing all the time.’

He said his children loved hanging out with their cousin Logan, and so did he.

“We surfed together at Kirra last year when the surf was the best it could be,” he wrote. “Surfing was his thing… so much so that he was almost a professional.”

The psychologist described the horrific moment his parents found their grandson’s body.

He said it was “too late to help.” Too late to do anything other than scream “No.”

“It was too late for him to hear them as they shouted his name over and over, ‘Logan! Logan! Logan! Logan!’ “No no no no no!!!!”‘

Dr. Coulson asked, “How do you hold your grandson’s body for the last time?” That’s what my parents did on Monday morning.’

He then talked about what he called “the ripple effect”… when each new person discovers the terrible truth.

“Logan’s dead? How? Suicide? No! Not Logan! How can that be? He was so happy. No! Please do not.’

Logan left a note, but Doctor Coulson said it “won’t bring peace or relief to anyone… Because he’s dead.”

He wrote movingly and honestly about how he feels and said that he was not doing well.

‘My heart is broken. Shattered for Logan. But also for his parents and brothers and sisters, and for my parents.’

Dr. However, Coulson said he wasn’t looking for sympathy, and that his Facebook post wasn’t about that.

Instead, he said he wanted people to know some facts about suicide in this country.

“There are nine suicides every day in Australia,” he wrote. ‘Seven of those nine suicides per day are men. Two of those nine are women.’

He said suicide is the leading cause of death among people between the ages of 15 and 24 and that 36 percent of deaths in that age group are suicides.

“Suicide is a complex issue and rarely is there just one factor that leads someone to commit suicide,” he wrote.

Dr. Coulson pointed out what can be done to help, saying strong social bonds reduce the risk of suicide.

He asked the people, “Please, please, please, please be kind.” Have compassion. Be gentle. Be inclusive. Be supportive. Be less critical and judgmental and more of a cheerleader.

‘Don’t sit on your child’s back (or on your partner/spouse’s back). Instead, make sure you have their back. Love them and make sure they know it. They need to know that they matter.’

Dr. Coulson also said that people should stop saying “I have no words” when confronted with tragic news, even if the use of that phrase is well-intentioned.

He said that last week on his Happy Families Podcast he spoke with Colin Campbell, the author of a book called Finding the Words, which he wrote after his two teenagers died in a car accident.

‘Colin makes it clear that when we say ‘there are no words’ we are, in a sense, reducing the person’s life to nothing.

“We must find the words, because the words we find tell the stories of those we love. And those stories help us celebrate their lives and our love for them,” he said.

Dr. Coulson advised people to share their stories, feel their pain and take their experiences to the next level. ‘Find. The. Words. They are there. And we have to share them,” he said.

His friend Gus Worland, who created the ABC series Man Up, which is about male suicide, called him as he sat at his table and cried.

“I sent a message and he came over for me,” he wrote, recommending his Gotcha4Life charity and its associated mental fitness plan, which he says is ‘a life saver’.

He said that after speaking to Worland, he spoke to his brother, two of his sisters, his mother, father and then two friends.

Then two family friends brought dinner to his family, which they greatly appreciated, but they also appreciated staying with them for another hour of conversation.

“And in between all those conversations, I talked to my wife, Kylie, and our kids,” he said.

‘Everyone needs someone to talk to. Everyone needs to know that they matter. Everyone should feel seen, heard and valued.’

Dr. Coulson then made what he said a simple point. “If you’re going through a hard time, or if a loved one is going through a hard time, talk to someone. A family member. A friend. Call Lifeline. Contact Beyond Blue, Gotcha4Life or the Movember Foundation…

“Talk to a local church leader, a trusted neighbor, anyone. Reach out. Tell people they matter.”

He ended his powerful message about suicide, grief and the power of talking by saying, “I miss Logan. Please hug your children. Hug your husband/wife/spouse/partner.

“And share this message and this love with everyone who needs to know how much they matter.”

Lifeline: 13 11 14

Suicide callback service: 1300 659 467

Mensline Australia: 1300 789 987

Children’s helpline: 1800 55 1800