Does your husband still love you? Put him through these tests that Gen-Z swear by

In my school years, my friends and I spent a lot of our time ‘calculating’ whether this boy or that boy would become ‘The One’, with all kinds of mysterious habits.

It’s like peeling off your satsuma in one go, where you can throw the peel over your shoulder and see which letter shape it falls into. I made the mistake of being angry at a boy named Harry. Forming an ‘H’ with the peel is unlikely, so that’s that.

Today, this kind of obsessive hope has found a new home on TikTok. But modern young women are testing their partners in much more practical ways.

I decided to put my husband of 26 years, who is the father of my two adult children, through the new romantic hoops. Read on to see how Anthony fared…

THE ORANGE TEST

Ask your partner to peel an orange for you. If they do it without hesitation, they succeed. If they complain, doubt or refuse, the omens are not good.

My husband is a big fan of the morning grapefruit and I often request a segment, so he is well trained. But I’ll definitely ask when we’re both deep in the Sunday papers. He gets up and does it without a doubt. Boom, Cupid’s arrow hits.

THE BECKHAM TEST

Last year, David and Victoria Beckham, married for almost 25 years, released their popular Netflix documentary. A clip of the couple dancing to Islands In The Stream by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers went viral on TikTok. According to the internet, these were the ‘couple goals’.

To find out if your partnership matches that of the Beckhams, put on the song and start dancing. If your partner participates, you have passed.

I make sure to turn on Islands In The Stream during that slightly flirty hour my husband and I have in the kitchen when I’m preparing dinner and he’s mixing a drink and feeding the dogs. I press play.

‘What kind of music is this?’ he grimaces. “Can’t you put on something decent?” Total failure.

The next day I choose one of his favorites, Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves by Cher, and sure enough, he responds to my waving overtures by dancing with me. I consider it a victory.

THE BIRD TEST

This explores how your partner reacts when you talk about something seemingly unimportant, like a bird outside your window. Relationship gurus at America’s Gottman Institute place a high value on these “bids for connection” because if your partner responds with genuine curiosity, it’s a sign that he/she is committed to connecting with you on every level.

“Look, the robin is back!” I tremble and gesture towards the garden. Anthony responds immediately and comes behind me. ‘Real? Where? Wow! Has he already finished his moult?’ I wave my hands weakly, indicating that the bird has flown.

I have a nagging feeling that the bird test shouldn’t generate this much excitement, but hey, we passed.

A clip of David and Victoria Beckham dancing during their Netflix documentary was described as ‘couple goals’, so why not test your partner to dance with you without provocation?

THE STRAWBERRY TEST

This test requires you to ask your partner innocent questions about a fantasy scenario. Their answers provide insight into the stability of your relationship. So:

1. Imagine a field of strawberries behind a fence. You’re hungry. How high is the fence?

2. You go into the field and steal berries. How much do you eat?

3. A farmer appears and starts shouting. What do you say?

4. What did the berries taste like and how did you feel about stealing them?

The height of the fence your partner puts in the photo symbolizes his or her self-control: the higher the fence, the higher his or her resistance to sexual temptation.

The number of berries eaten is the number of people they can see themselves in love with at the same time. Their response to the farmer is the way they would respond if caught cheating. And the way they felt afterward is how they would feel about the affair.

At a dinner party, over a few glasses of wine, I announce that we are playing a game. ‘Anton, you start. You’re walking…’

He passes with flying colors. He chooses a six-foot fence, eats only four strawberries, apologizes to the farmer for succumbing to temptation, and expresses regret for his weakness. It all means that he is unlikely to stray and will be honest if he does. I’m feeling a little smug.

But I do worry about my friends Kay and