DR GINNI MANSBERG: This is everything you need to know about sex in your fifties (and no, it doesn’t have to be awful)

It’s perhaps the most common complaint doctors hear from women going through “the change”: sex, once one of life’s greatest pleasures, has become too painful to enjoy.

But sexual activity during perimenopause – the transition period to menopause – and after menstruation has stopped completely doesn’t have to be an uncomfortable experience, says celebrity GP Dr Ginni Mansberg.

In fact, the three main issues that cause women to turn away from sex as they age can be resolved in just a few weeks.

Dr. Mansberg, an expert on perimenopause and star of TV’s Embarrassing Bodies Down Under, has helped thousands of women get through the sometimes excruciating symptoms that come with that stage of life.

She explained that pain during sex and low libido are the two most common reasons why women “shut up” later in life – much to the disappointment of their husbands, who are often not ready to throw in the towel .

The first problem, painful sex, is usually due to vaginal dryness and will affect 80 percent of women by age 60.

Sex without natural lubrication can be excruciating, and this is only exacerbated by sexual changes that men experience later in life.

“Men last longer at that age, so even if you could apply plenty of lube for a few minutes by the time they’re done, it’s going to be painful for ages,” Dr. Mansberg said.

‘Or it’s so painful that you have to tell them to stop. It leads to couples not having sex, but also not talking about why.’

An estrogen-rich cream is the answer.

“They have to do a loading dose, use it every night for two weeks. Then twice a week,” she said.

The treatment starts to work quickly, but it may take three months before you experience maximum results.

“People come back to me in a few weeks to say they’re doing a lot better,” she said.

Dr Mansbergthe author of the best-selling book The M Word: How to Thrive in Menopausesaid she doesn’t want to assume that every patient wants to “fix” his vaginal dryness or resume his premenopausal sex life when he comes into her clinic.

However, the lack of intimacy that comes with a couple’s sex life coming to a standstill can put a strain on even the strongest relationships..

The second problem is low libido, which can be divided into two categories. The first category consists of women who feel that they are ‘not bothered’ by sex, but then enjoy themselves when they are ready.

When Dr. When Mansberg talks to these patients about their sex lives, they often admit that they know they should have more sex, and some are quite surprised once the deed is done by how much they enjoy it.

‘People come to me with the idea that they are broken [their low libido]. It’s more like running: you don’t want to do it, but you get benefits if you go for it,” she said.

She said that as long as you are able to have an orgasm – and this includes through masturbation – this is probably the type of libido problem you have.

The second type of low libido is a medical problem.

“If you can’t have an orgasm, if you have sex and afterwards you think, ‘Well, that’s 20 minutes of my life that I’ll never get back,’ then this is the kind of problem you have,” she said.

The good news is that this type of low libido is treatable.

‘Many of these women want to be able to have sex, to connect with their partner. But if they do, they can’t have an orgasm. It’s the worst thing you can ever do: a nightmare to do.”

These women have no desire to masturbate nor have any sexual fantasies.

The treatment is a testosterone-based drug, but is technically only available to women who have gone through perimenopause and have officially ended their periods.

‘Menopause is a single date – one year after your last period – but perimenopause can last more than ten years.’

That’s why Dr. Mansberg, like many other doctors, prescribes testosterone ‘off label’ to women, but only to women who meet the criteria for a libido disorder.

“It’s expensive — about $90 a month — and you have to try it for about six months,” she said.

‘It works for most people. But it’s a lot of money if it doesn’t happen.’

Dr. Mansberg said she’s “probably in the middle” when it comes to prescribing testosterone to female patients.

Some doctors claim that it can significantly relieve a range of perimenopause symptoms. That’s why Dr. Mansberg urges her patients to let her know if they notice improvements in other aspects of their lives.

For now, however, she only prescribes testosterone for low libido disorder for postmenopausal women with reduced sexual desire.

Self-confidence can also have an impact on the desire to have sex during life changes, explained Dr. Mansberg further out.

Problems like incontinence, changing body shape and sagging top the list of reasons why women don’t want their partner to even see them naked.

These can all be treated as well, she said.

“You just need to go to your doctor and explain what’s going on,” she said.

Some women experience the first symptoms of perimenopause in their late thirties, although most will experience its onset between the ages of 40 and 44.

Menopause can occur at any time from the early 40s to the early 60s, with many women having their last period in their early 50s.