DJ Tigerlily reveals the devastating reality behind idyllic holiday
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One of Australia’s most prominent DJs and music producers has opened up about the devastating moment she realized she had lost her unborn child.
Dara Hayes, better known by her stage name DJ Tigerlily, was eight weeks pregnant while vacationing in Airlie Beach in July with her husband Scott Lawson when tragedy struck.
Photos from the tropical getaway showed the newlyweds looking relaxed and happy on sun-kissed beaches in Queensland’s Whitsunday region.
But their smiling faces were masks concealing the truth: feelings of “devastation, shame and disbelief” bubbled just below the surface.
The 30-year-old music producer from Sydney, who is now five and a half months into her second pregnancy, told FEMAIL that she woke up the morning she lost her baby full of emotion.
DJ Tigerlily, whose real name is Dara Hayes, has revealed that this photo was taken during one of the most difficult moments of her life: the miscarriage of her first pregnancy.
Dara had already organized this yacht for a 5-day trip when she lost the baby – she and Scott were going to tell their friends on the boat – but she had a much sadder announcement.
“He had chartered a yacht to take us and some of our closest friends around the Whitsundays.” [off the Queensland coast] for five days,’ he said.
I was going to tell you all the good news when we got on board. But the universe had different ideas.
Dara and Scott spent the day at Proserpine Hospital, where doctors confirmed that she had miscarried.
‘We were crushed. And it’s stupid, but I also felt a lot of shame, like I’ve let people down, let myself down,” she said.
The star, who is now five months pregnant and ‘more than half’ pregnant, had never thought about a miscarriage before having one.
The couple, who tied the knot in a lavish ceremony in Sydney’s Duffy Forest on March 5, had always thought they would delay having children.
“But then we hear so many stories of people struggling to get pregnant and we thought we’d start trying just in case,” she said.
“We were very lucky and got pregnant on the first try, we were so excited.”
Dara told family and close friends when she saw them, and looking back she’s glad she did, because they were the people she needed when it all fell apart.
The bubbly 30-year-old woman pictured in this year’s ARIAS photo was supposed to tell a group of friends the happy news of her pregnancy when she lost the baby.
‘We had a lot of love and support when it happened. In fact, we ended up going on the boat with our friends later and it really helped during a difficult time.’
A month after losing their baby, the couple decided to try again.
“We were very lucky again and got pregnant on the first try,” she said.
And again they told their closest friends and family.
“People were worried, some said we should wait to try again. But Scott and I sat down and had that conversation and decided we didn’t want to.
‘I didn’t even think it would be possible to get pregnant again so quickly.
She and her husband, pictured together on that holiday, spent the day at Proserpine hospital, where doctors confirmed they had miscarried the baby.
The following month they ‘tried again’, resulting in her current pregnancy.
“Being pregnant for 10 months is a long time, add another few months to that and…I’m happy I made that decision,” she said.
Dara was surprised to learn that one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage.
“It wasn’t even on our radar, but it’s so common that my doctor said people can have four in a row before doctors investigate why, because one, two, three, is considered common. I think I would like to find a reason after two,” she added.
He waited until the 15-week mark to tell his fans he was waiting, because he wanted to have the results of the genetic tests and large scans before the main announcement.
Before that, she had announced her pregnancy at intimate events and said that it was important to her, especially since she was not feeling her best.
The popular DJ said she felt very tired for the first 15 weeks, completely drained of her energy and personality, but now she feels amazing.
“I felt like a zombie, as if my personality had been removed.
“My cup was completely empty, I felt drained and like I had nothing to give to those around me, not even myself,” she said.
Being a vegan, she’s no stranger to feeling fatigue as a result of low iron, but this was 10 times worse.
“Then at 15 weeks I started to feel a little bit better, then very good, I’m glad what they say about the second trimester seems to be true for me, it’s easier,” she said.
“However, I get anxiety every time I get into bed, which is weird because I’ve never had that before.”
The internationally acclaimed DJ has also had a few months to dream about what her life and career would be like with a mini-me on her toe.
She wants to talk about miscarriage because she didn’t realize how common it was until she had one and people told her their own stories.
“I keep whispering to my stomach, telling the baby that he’ll like to sleep and fly,” she said.
She plans to play festivals throughout her pregnancy, slowing down just before the baby’s due date in late April.
“At the moment I play at least 10 concerts a month, but that will change when I have the baby. I’ll do more corporate stuff, see how the baby is doing and then slowly start doing gigs again, probably aiming for four a month at first,’ she said.
Dara has begun to broaden her horizons when it comes to work, anticipating a life that follows slightly different creative projects.
The mom-to-be hasn’t wasted any time dreaming about what kind of life she’ll have once the baby arrives.
“I created a garden landscape for Amazon using the noises from their most popular garden products along with the noises from Australian birds.
“It was a really cool project, and I didn’t think I would use my musical talent to do something like that, but I loved it,” he said.
He Project was done in collaboration with Kirsty and Jesse from The Block and each tool was voted by Aussies as the most nostalgic sounds they hear in the backyard for generating those summer vibes.
Exciting commercial projects, which can also be done from a home studio, will keep the star busy until she’s ready to step up her workload.
She is pictured here working on the Amazon project, saying she’s looking forward to doing more work for companies after giving birth, until she’s ready for another tour.
Her return to normal touring will depend on how she feels after having her baby and how well the family is doing as a unit.
But she caught a glimpse of the dream.
Her soaring through the sky with a very well behaved, screen-free, outdoors-loving baby and a babysitter on her toe.
“My mom rolls her eyes at me,” she laughed.
The 30-year-old and her husband are even considering a Eurotrip in July.
Dara has decided to wait until after the baby is born to find out the gender, adding that it will be a pleasant surprise on the day of delivery.
Dara and Scott aren’t having a gender reveal or baby shower before their son is born and they haven’t even figured out if bub is a boy or a girl.
“I’m going to get a lot of hate for this, but I don’t like the idea of baby shower gender reveals, it’s just not me, although I have some fun maternity shoots planned for January and February.”
Scott would love to know, but my aunt was a midwife and she told me stories about the magic of finding out after giving birth.
“It’s like another little gift on top,” he said.
His first feeling was that it was a girl, but when he saw the first ultrasound he decided it was a boy.
Now he has no idea, but ‘when pressed he would say a girl’.