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One of Princess Diana’s closest friends, who has known the Prince of Wales and the Duke of Sussex all her life, has commented “on the importance of setting boundaries” in the wake of Prince Harry’s explosive memories.
Psychotherapist Julia Samuel, 60, from London, became close to Diana after meeting her at a dinner party in 1987, and is godmother to nine-year-old Prince George.
He is also believed to be the person Meghan Markle, 41, turned to when she felt suicidal during her pregnancy.
Not to mention Prince Harry by name, in a piece for The times now he has emphasized that telling our problems to anyone who will listen is not a helpful way to deal with negative thoughts.
He also said that painful feelings can be expressed to loved ones, as long as the relationship is mended afterwards.
His comments come as Prince Harry, 38, made several claims about the royal family and revealed painful personal anecdotes in his explosive memoir Spare, which was published last week.
Julia Samuel was one of Princess Diana’s closest friends, a loyal confidante who offered support and advice during her darkest days. Pictured: Diana, Princess of Wales, with Mrs. Julia Samuel in the royal box on Wimbledon’s Center Court, 1994
The psychotherapist said that while talking through their feelings can help people better understand their emotions and heal, it needs to happen in the safety of a therapy session, which protects them and allows them to better face the world.
She added that venting to everyone and anyone is not a helpful way to deal with negative feelings.
‘The limits are the limits or rules that each one establishes to protect themselves. We shouldn’t take all our feelings out on everyone: promiscuous honesty, telling everyone everything, doesn’t help any of us,” Julia wrote.
“When we indiscriminately express unfiltered feelings, we can upset those around us and not get the empathic response we need,” he said.
Julia’s comments come as Prince Harry has unleashed a series of attacks on the royal family and his brother, the Prince of Wales, left, in his memoir Spare
She added that sharing negative thoughts with others could trigger your “code red” response (fight, flight, freeze) and increase your feelings of anxiety, which can turn off your responsiveness in a noticeable way.
Julia added that boundaries are important, especially in the workplace, because they allow us to focus on the task at hand.
She also pointed out that it is important to express strong feelings, and that being vulnerable with the people who know us best promotes the development of intimacy.
She said that sharing strong feelings with loved ones and being emotional with them can deepen trust and also allow us to express these thoughts in a safe space.
The psychotherapist added that it is also important to know how to fight productively, and even more important to know how to heal those fissures.
He added that secure relationships with people we can trust are the foundation we should depend on in our lives.
It comes after he released an intriguing video on his Instagram page last week, which many interpret as a concerned plea for Prince Harry to heal the rift with his brother, following damaging allegations issued in his memoir, Spare.
He warned that “big fights” can occur in families after an “unexpected death” and said that where “we love the most” we also “hate the most”.
Julia Samuel has posted an intriguing video to her Instagram page (pictured), which many interpret as a concerned plea for Prince Harry to mend the rift with his brother, following damaging allegations issued in his memoir, Spare.
Ms Samuel revealed that while she, too, had been involved in family feuds, she was “lucky” that such incidents “were kept private, because none of us want those worst parts of ourselves exposed.”
In the video, shared with her 40,000 followers, Ms Samuel went on to say that “there is no favorite child” in any family and “there is no one truth”. Her words seemed to be a clear intervention in the ongoing feud between the brothers, and Harry’s insistence that he wrote his book bomb in the name of ‘truth’.
One of Ms Samuel’s followers, Amy Smith, posted a response to the video, saying: “Sounds like a message to Prince Harry.” Great publication that reflects the complexities of families, the nuances, the different perspective.’
Another follower wrote simply, identifying the apparent target of Ms Samuel’s comments: “Prince Harry…”
In his memoirs, written by American ghostwriter JR Moehringer, Harry accuses William of “pounced” on him and, in another incident, pushed him to the ground and broke his necklace.
Throughout the book, Harry complains about being treated as the minor “leftover” of William’s “heir”, revealing, for example, that he was given a smaller room when they were children.
In her video, Ms Samuel said: “I’ve been thinking about families and how every family has a story. We all have a story of love and loss and joy and pain and that within every family where we love the most we hate the most and make our deepest mistakes and there is no such thing as a perfect family.
‘All families operate on a functional and dysfunctional spectrum depending on internal and external pressures.
‘And the greatest external pressures are around large peaks of change. So obviously it’s death and even more so unexpected death, but also separation and illness where internal and external pressures put everyone in the family under stress.
In a message posted below the video, Ms Samuel writes: “Such conflicting attitudes can tragically tear a family apart. Where each family member keeps a different version of her experience. Or you want to be seen as the ‘right’ one. Or the victim. Or the ordained heir of the dead father.
Prince William is a patron of Mrs Samuel’s Child Bereavement UK charity, a role previously held by Diana. But she also remains close to Harry.
Ms Samuel is believed to have offered advice to the Duchess of Sussex when she suffered from mental health problems during pregnancy.
In her revealing television interview with Oprah Winfrey in 2021, Meghan said: “One of the people I reached out to, who remained a friend and confidant, was one of my husband’s mother’s best friends, one of my husband’s best friends. Diana .’
Later that year, the grief specialist was invited to an event the palace described as “a very personal moment for the family” – the unveiling of a statue of Diana in Kensington Gardens.
There, Mrs. Samuel was seen hugging Harry as it became apparent that the relationship between the brothers was already starting to fall apart.
Known in royal circles for her discretion, she has said little about the siblings’ relationship except to say that Diana “would be very proud of them”. She has described her role as godmother to Prince George as “a great honour” and has spoken about the gifts she brings him for her birthday.
Two years ago, he told writer Elizabeth Day on the How To Fail podcast: “I do to George what [Diana] made us, which is giving impossible toys that are really loud [and] it takes a lot to do.
‘I’m coming off a bit inclined by the size of the gift that William has to spend days putting together. And then assemble all the machinery.
‘And it makes horrible noises and flashing lights and all that. That makes me laugh and it makes George laugh.