DEAR JANE: My new mother-in-law just gave me a kinky Christmas gift

Dear Jane,

My husband and I got married earlier this year and are spending money Christmas for the first time with his parents.

My husband’s two brothers and their respective wives and children were also present at the celebrations – so I was certainly excited.

Maybe I should have been more careful.

But first, a disclaimer: My husband’s mother is nothing but nice to me. And she welcomed me into the family with open arms.

That’s why I was so shocked.

Earlier this week we were all sitting down to a glass of champagne before dinner when my mother-in-law suggested we do a round of ‘early presents’, a little family tradition she explained.

“I really want you to get this before Christmas,” she said when it was my turn, handing me a small, perfectly wrapped box tied with a bow – and winking.

I thanked her and of course opened the gift for everyone (including my young nieces and nephews). To my horror, it contained a bright red lace bra and a matching thong. Not just a thong, but also a G-string, with a little gold heart hanging over the crotch.

The whole room went silent and I’m pretty sure my cheeks were burning red. My mother-in-law laughed – really loudly – ​​and said she thought the ridiculous undergarments “would suit me.”

As soon as I had a private moment, I asked my husband why his mother was making fun of me, but he brushed it off and said she really thought I would like the gift.

I can’t imagine why a mother would buy lingerie for her daughter-in-law. Maybe she has the wrong impression of me.

Or was she trying to humiliate me on purpose?

By,

Provocative present

International bestselling author Jane Green provides sage advice on readers’ most burning issues in her column about Aunt’s agony

Best provocative gift,

I have no idea why your mother-in-law bought you a red lace thong and bra.

I’ve always thought that only husbands and lovers should buy sexy lingerie for women, even though crazy things happen at bachelor parties.

Anyway, I’m already fed up just reading this letter, so I can only imagine how uncomfortable you must have felt.

The thing is, none of us could even guess why she thought this would be a nice, appropriate, or funny Christmas gift.

So you have to ask her. You felt like she was making fun of you, but remember: you don’t know if that was her intention.

Considering how well you get along and how you have been welcomed, it might be better to assume that she had no intention of humiliating you at all.

In fact, she might be shocked that you would think such a thing. But you’ll never solve the mystery until you talk to her.

Tell her that while you are grateful to be involved, you felt humiliated by red lace lingerie.

Tell her you’re thrilled to have been welcomed into her family and that you suspect you’re on the wrong end; that it would be out of character for her to deliberately embarrass you. Still, you felt like a fool and her rather personal comments made you doubt what she meant.

Then sit back and listen.

Try not to respond until you’ve heard everything she has to say.

If you need to ask more questions for clarity, ask more questions. Only after you understand what she was thinking can you make a decision about how to proceed.

But you can certainly tell her – and you should – that you don’t like it when anyone other than your partner buys you sexy lingerie.