- In her latest column about Aunt Pain, bestselling author Jane Green offers advice to a husband who fears his Christmas gesture to his wife has ruined his marriage
- Do you have a question for Jane? Email dearjane@mailonline.com or ask below
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Dear Jane,
Over the past few years, my wife has complained about the way her appearance has changed as she's gotten older, admitting to me that she's lost her self-confidence because of her “sagging skin and wrinkles” — and even as I reassured her that she still looks great, i thought it might be an idea to give her a boost in the form of her Christmas gift this year.
So I talked to some of her friends about good locations near our house for plastic surgeons and bought her one Botox and filler pack, which the staff assured me would do wonders to transform her appearance and help her recapture her youth.
To be clear, I would never force my wife to get cosmetic treatment, but she has been so upset about her appearance for so long that I really thought this would be something to cheer her up.
Dear Jane, I bought my wife Botox for Christmas because she said she hates her appearance – she was furious and is now threatening to evict me from our house
I knew she would never make such an expensive purchase herself and thought I could do something nice for her.
However, my dream of surprising her on Christmas Day was taken away when the medical spa where I purchased her package accidentally emailed her the information in advance, essentially giving away the game.
So I thought I'd tell her all about it a few weeks early, and give her a chance to pamper herself in time for the holidays.
International bestselling author Jane Green offers sage advice on DailyMail.com readers' most burning issues in her column Dear Jane agony aunt
But instead of being grateful or excited, my wife was furious with me. She accused me of making her feel ugly, told me that I clearly made her look horrible, and that if I want a trophy wife I should just end our marriage now and join a dating app for sugar daddies.
She even threatened to throw me out of the house.
It's been a few days now and she still hasn't calmed down. And what's worse, she cries every time she comes near a mirror.
I've tried talking to her to show her my side of things – and to prove to her that I think she's beautiful no matter her age – but she won't talk to me.
I'm really not sure where to go from here, but I have a terrible feeling that I've ruined Christmas.
By,
Not so cheerful or bright
Dear, not so cheerful or bright,
I'm sorry you ruined Christmas, and I'm sorry your wife took such an emotional stance when you listened to what she said and gave her that specific thing that you thought would bring her joy.
It's a bit of an old mess, but honestly, not your fault. I would sit this one out and let her cry as she sees fit.
It all seems a bit overly emotional, so the best advice I can give is to stop being involved, and stop playing the part you're playing in this particular dance, reassuring and apologizing when you thought you were doing the right thing.
You two could probably continue like this until New Year's, which won't be fun for anyone.
If you haven't apologized calmly and explained that you bought the Botox after she commented about her sagging skin, do so and tell her that you'd like to talk about it but that you don't want to get into any drama that is not of your making.
Disconnect. I hope your Christmas is merry, and feel free to send the Botox and fillers to your favorite aunt.