Dame Kelly Holmes didn’t know how she would ever meet a lesbian before coming out as gay

She came out as gay in June, after living a “secret life” for decades.

And on Monday, Dame Kelly Holmes admitted she didn’t know how she would ever meet a lesbian before coming out, and feared potential love interests would want to “go public.”

The athlete, 52, spoke on Loose Women when she discussed how difficult it was for her to pursue romantic relationships when her sexuality was a closely guarded secret.

While discussing whether you can ever be too in love, Kelly mused, “I’ve had different circumstances because I wasn’t out, so my relationships are…

“I didn’t know how to meet people or how I was ever going to meet a gay woman because I couldn’t do it in public.

“I’d meet people indirectly through friends and convince myself they’re right because I didn’t want to be lonely, and then I’d think ‘no, no way. “I would think if I got too attached they would want us to go public.

“I feel like love is blind and it’s… the world is full of rainbows and butterflies, but that lessens the mistakes.”

Dame Kelly’s confession comes a few months after she first spoke about her sexuality when she stated that she “finally felt free” after years of living a “secret” life.

The Olympic runner admitted she was “fully aware” of rumors about her sexual orientation, but is now happy to come out “on her own terms”.

Talking to the Mirrorshe said, “There have been a lot of dark times when I wished I could scream I’m gay — but I couldn’t.”

“I had to do this now, for me. It was my decision. I’m nervous to say it. I feel like I’m going to explode with excitement. Sometimes I cry with relief. The moment this comes out, I’m basically rid of that fear.”

Dame Kelly confirmed she has a partner but declined to give further details, admitting it’s the first time she hasn’t introduced someone as a “friend or PA.”

She explained how her family and close friends have known for years that she is gay, but she worried that she would get in trouble for breaking retrospective rules in the armed forces.

At the time, the armed forces had a ban on LGBT soldiers, which was not lifted until 2000. Kelly had relationships with other women throughout her 10 years of service.

Kelly, who chose to come out during Pride month, shared how she first realized she was gay when she kissed another female soldier at age 17.

After the kiss, Kelly recalled writing to her stepfather, to whom she is very close, to explain what had happened.

She was “confused and scared,” but Kelly revealed that her stepfather accepted her right away before she came out to the rest of her family in 1997.

Of her past relationships with women, she said, “No respect for them, but the relationships have only been a small part of my life.

“They haven’t been in this fearful world with me for 34 years.”

Kelly, who became a Lady in 2005, said she dated a woman between the ages of 27 and 32, but broke off the relationship in 2002 so she could focus on the Athens Olympics.

And even her huge feat of winning gold in the 800 and 1,500 meters in Athens was ruined because of her fear of being eliminated.

Before the 2003 World Cup final, Kelly said she hit rock bottom and injured herself, recalling how she had “no control” of herself.

Kelly did not ask for any support at the time for fear she would be cut from the Olympic team.

In 2018, Kelly was made an honorary colonel of the Royal Armored Corps Training Regiment, which she viewed as another barrier to her coming out.

After suffering a breakdown in 2020, she called an LGBTQ+ leader to question whether she could still face repercussions over her military relations.

When she was assured she wouldn’t get in trouble with the armed forces, Kelly revealed that she felt like she could “breathe again.”