CRAIG BROWN: We are living through a period of sudden departures.. But just look at Henry VIII

First, Phillip Schofield is quitting This Morning. Then Edward Enninful announces that he is leaving as editor of British Vogue. We are experiencing a hectic period of sudden departures and heartwarming explanations.

But this is nothing new. Let’s take a look at our historical archive of probate records, starting with this one, from 1536.

Anne Boleyn says: King Henry VIII, Thomas (Cromwell) and I have discussed how I can play a wider role in strengthening monarchy worldwide.

The past three years have been a great experience, with plenty of opportunities to learn and grow. I am pleased to share with you the news that, starting later today, I will be entering the bloc to assume the position of late wife to the sovereign and adviser-from-beyond-the-grave to his global empire.

In my absence, I will continue to contribute to the creative and cultural success of the Monarchy brand worldwide, while enjoying the freedom to take on exciting new responsibilities, such as having my head cut off.

Moving forward in an era of change, we have decided together to separate two important components, namely my body and my head.

To optimize my increased responsibilities, in line with our global royal restructuring, we jumped at the opportunity to take on a new wife for the king. I am excited to be able to assist in this transition by interacting with the execution process.

I want to thank Henry and Thomas for their continued support in their ongoing project of separating my head from my body, and I look forward to taking on my new basket-based position as the head of blue-sky thinking.

Everything remains the same for now, and I’m so excited about what the future holds for me, not just in the short term, but very near term. I want to thank the chopping block for its unwavering support.

Henry VIII says: Hi there, good morning! Thomas, thanks for being here (holds Thomas Cromwell).

Right, take a deep breath. First, everything okay? I hope so. It feels very strange sitting here without Anne. The throne won’t look the same without her, that’s for sure!

I imagine you may have felt the same way I did.

Shocked, alarmed, disappointed, concerned for the well-being of people on all sides of what is going on, and full of questions.

You, me and all of us at Hampton Court gave our love and support to someone who failed us, who acted in such a way that they themselves felt they had to step down from a position they loved and prepare to be executed. become. I won’t embarrass that person by mentioning them publicly, but you know who I’m talking about, Anne.

It’s a lot to process. Nor can the toll be seen on Anne’s head, which will soon lie in a basket. We send her our deepest love and concern as we continue to recognize that she has no one to blame but herself.

I think what unites us all now is a desire to heal for the good of all. It is my hope that as we begin this new chapter and return to the place of warmth and magic that the monarchy has in store for all of us, we can find the strength in each other.

Myself, the two Toms – Cromwell and Cranmer! – and my super new wife and co-host, Jane Seymour, and every person who works on this show will continue to work hard every day to bring you the show we love. And may I thank you from my heart for all your sweet messages?

(Thomas Cromwell leans forward)

Thomas Cromwell says: Give us a hug, Henry!

Hendrik: Ah!

Thomas: All we can do now is be the royal family that we are. And we couldn’t do it without you, our loyal subjects.

Henry: Exactly. Now if . . . (looks at watch), yes the expert executioner has just completed his task, so it’s a big thank you to him, total hero, and a real tearful farewell to Anne.

And, coming soon: how to roast an ox, the heartbreak behind the smile of an award-winning court jester – and the beautiful Jane Seymour on her exciting new life as the queen of our hearts.