A married couple has gone viral after sharing how they divide their household chores according to their strengths to ensure they both feel “seen and heard.”
Alexa and Cass, founders of the lifestyle blog Two Femme gemshave more than 74,000 on it Instagramwhere they share videos about their family life, garden and sustainable living efforts.
The wives, who live in Annapolis, Maryland, recently shared how they factor Cass’s ADHD and Alexa’s shoulder injury into their daily chores.
Alexa explained at the beginning of the video that she’s found ways to cope with her wife’s ADHD rather than against it by making her lists and getting her to do the physical tasks that would cause her pain.
Alexa (left) and Cass (right), founders of the lifestyle blog Two Femme Gems, went viral on Instagram after sharing how they divide household chores according to their strengths
Alexa explained that she’s found ways to work with Cass’s ADHD rather than against it. She writes a list for her wife every day, because that is how she prefers to receive information
“My wife will forget food exists when it’s behind a closed door, so I’m making a weekly menu,” Alexa added
“My wife told me she prefers to get information in the form of lists, so I write her one every day. I feel seen and heard because things get done. She feels seen and heard because I met her on her level,” she said.
“Second, my wife will forget food exists when it’s behind a closed door, so I make a weekly menu and put all our food in clear containers so she can easily see what’s available.”
The couple is also strategic about dividing up tasks based on what they can do better.
“Instead of making everything 50/50, we’re looking for overall balance, but we’re playing to our strengths. I’m really good at doing routine things like laundry so I take on those tasks while Cass does more of the physical work,” Alexa shared.
“I have a shoulder injury, so she’s taking on the duties that are really hard for me and would honestly cause me a lot of pain. This makes me feel truly loved and cared for.”
Alexa added that they also have weekly meetings to connect with each other and make sure they both feel “seen and heard,” saying the system “works great” for them.
The video shows the family meeting and meal planning templates they use every day and noted in the caption that are available on their Etsy page.
Alexa and Cass called each other the “dream team,” but they admitted that they needed a “dream team” to do it.few years to figure out how to operate like a well-oiled machine as a neuro-mixed household.”
They noted that the key to finally getting their act together was the idea that one of them has to “meet the other where they are.” Instead, they meet halfway.
Alexa puts all their food in clear containers so Cass can easily see what’s available
The pair divide their duties according to their strengths. Alexis has a shoulder injury, so she focuses on routine tasks like folding the laundry. Cass does the physical work
They also have weekly meetings to check and make sure they both feel ‘seen and heard’
The video has been viewed 1.5 million times and many fans were excited to implement some of their tips in their own relationships
“That way we can both play to our strengths, support each other and create balance in the relationship,” they explained. ‘Honest communication and vulnerability [have] paved the way for all of this and our weekly check-ins have helped ensure we have a safe place to align each week.
If you or your partner has ADHD, we can’t recommend these tips enough! I hope you find them as helpful as we do.’
The video has received 1.5 million views and more than 1,000 comments since the video was posted on March 28.
Many people were fans of their system and wanted to implement it in their own relationships.
‘I think the weekly meetings are an absolutely great idea and if I ever get into a serious relationship I want to do that too!!’ one person responded.
“I absolutely love this!” another agreed. “Maybe we’ll try to include weekly meetings, too, just because they’re [seem] as a nice way to check in.’
“My ex would get mad and make fun of me if I forgot things, even after telling him it’s better to write down important information for me to see,” another person shared. “So I love seeing couples who really care about each other, working together to make things work.”