CHRISTOPHER STEVENS reviews last night’s TV: Could a social worker really cut it as a Belfast cop?

Blue Lights (BBC1)

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Unforgettable (ITV1)

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For a dedicated couch potato, almost nothing is too much of a stretch. I happily accept that priests and parish councilors are surreally murdered every day in Midsomer.

And it seems entirely plausible to me that the candidates for The Apprentice would wake up at 4 am, shower, do their hair and makeup, suit up in powerful outfits, and be installed in their limousines, all within 20 minutes.

But there are limits even to my credulity. And I just can’t believe that a former social worker could be ideal material for the police.

Every social worker I’ve ever met (and, boy, I’ve met a lot, when you’re the parent of a disabled child, they’re all over you) have shared one key trait. Ask them for any kind of help and they will disappear.

What kind of emergency service would hire people who take a minimum of ten days to respond to an email? Or that they only work Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday mornings. . . when they’re not using their statutory sick leave, that is.

Grace (Sian Brooke) has left social work to become a police trainee in Belfast, in Blue Lights (BBC1)

These days, most social workers I meet don’t even bother being late for meetings. Instead, they send their apologies via Zoom.

Grace (Sian Brooke) has left social work to become a police trainee in Belfast, on Blue Lights (BBC1). When we first see her, she left her service pistol in the bathroom, where her teenage son picked it up, which sounds pretty cool: some of these people have degrees in mindless ineptitude.

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Lani, 33, spent other players’ money to indulge in the African wilderness in Tempting Fortune (Ch4), justifying herself by yelling: ‘It’s a democracy!’ And he’s right… democracy now means doing what you want, and that’s it.

But Grace is also brave, quick thinking and diligent. And here’s the clincher about her: she has a great sense of humor and she can laugh at herself when her colleagues pull pranks on her. Nothing on earth will convince me that this woman was ever a social worker.

Other than that, Blue Lights is a fast-moving ensemble drama, with a really good cast. Richard Dormer plays grizzled old cop Gerry, whose cynicism doesn’t stop him from loving his job. John Lynch is gangster James McIntyre, who rules her family with his fists, and Martin McCann is a cautious patrolman, Stevie, who would rather be in the kitchen perfecting his honey pancake recipe.

Grace’s fellow rookies are Annie (Katherine Devlin), with a temper as volatile as Semtex, and Tommy (Nathan Braniff), who is always the last to get a joke, even though he’s destined to be on the fast track to promotion.

The action sequences are full of grit and violence, with a mob at every corner of the city ready to throw bricks and bottles. But there’s also a great streak of humor, as officers sit in their cars discussing playlists and trading stories of rookies who failed their training.

DI Sunny Khan (Sanjeev Bhaskar) and her new boss, DCI Jess James (Sinead Keenan) have overcome their knee-jerk dislike for each other in ITV’s Unforgotten.

Just like in real police work, one-liners can help ease the tension. Walking into a probation hotel where the air was thick with threats, Stevie looked at the obscene graffiti and asked Grace, “Is that Shakespeare?”

Police work in Unforgotten (ITV1) is much more refined. Although the suspects in the cold case murder investigation include a thieving addict and an aggressive alcoholic, the detectives are most likely talking to merchant bankers and members of the House of Lords.

DI Sunny Khan (Sanjeev Bhaskar) and her new boss, DCI Jess James (Sinead Keenan), have gotten over their instinctive dislike for each other. Now they’re a gently persuasive interview team, interrogating stubborn witnesses with such finesse that no one cracks under pressure. Instead, they just open up.

The various plots that seemed so separate at first have now merged into one, thanks to a couple of brilliant twists from writer Chris Lang.

Derek Griffiths, once the host of Play School, made a cameo appearance as a security guard. By couch potato standards, that’s not remotely far-fetched.

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