CHRISTOPHER STEVENS on last night’s TV: After 29 years, who’s left University Challenge?

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE

Judgement:

What a refreshing absence of fuss. No crocodile tears, no sentimental banter, just goodbye and a hint of regret.

Jeremy Paxman signed off University Challenge (BBC2) and a television career spanning over 45 years with an abrupt announcement that the show is returning later in the year, and I look forward to watching it with you. So goodnight from me. Good night.’

The 73-year-old has been presenting the quiz since 1994. As the average age of both teams in this final is just 21, that’s much longer than the contestants have ever lived.

His face, voice and mannerisms are so familiar that a doctor could diagnose his early Parkinson’s disease without ever meeting him.

The medic, a fan of the show, approached Paxo at the hospital where he was recovering from a fall. His features were less “exuberant and exuberant” than usual, the doctor said — a typical sign known as the Parkinson’s mask.

Jeremy Paxman, 73, (pictured) signed University Challenge (BBC2) and a television career spanning over 45 years with a brusque announcement

Last October, shortly after revealing this University Challenge series would be his last, Paxman made a typically candid and curious ITV documentary about his illness called Putting Up With Parkinson’s.

Writing in Saga magazine earlier this year about his ongoing struggle, he wryly claimed that he was “attacked by my chair and slammed into the leg of my desk.” There was an awful lot of blood.” He added that he was given his “regular bed” at the hospital.

It’s clear he’s not going soft or wimpy in his old age, and the Durham and Bristol teams knew better than to expect an ounce of clemency. After the introductions, he stated, “We’re all old hands at this, so let’s just get on with it.”

Don’t ask me about the first ten starter: a player buzzed in before I even realized the question was about nuclear reactors. Since this was the final, the standard was heavier than ever. “What effect is the basis of the thermocouple?” Paxman barked.

And when someone got that right, he announced, “These bonuses are on rocket science.”

Jeremy Paxman, 73, signed off after presenting the University Challenge since 1994

Jeremy Paxman, 73, signed off after presenting the University Challenge since 1994

One round was on the 1970s punk pop band The B-52’s. How someone born in the 21st century must know they had a hit called Rock Lobster, only heaven knows. “I’m confused by this question,” the Durham captain admitted.

Ultimately, the competition led to a brain teaser about the 1968 Olympics. Bristol guessed the answer was men’s 400 metres. Durham said Men’s 200m. Durham accepted the award.

UNREAL! WITH OLIVIA NEILL

Judgement:

Slightly less scintillating levels of intellect were on display in Unreal! With Olivia Neill (BBC3), a look at dating apps that use virtual reality kits.

Olivia, also age 21, a social media influencer, wore a plastic video headset that projected her into a primitive computer animation.

In this world, which looks like a Japanese cartoon character, she could meet an eight-foot dog and a man with beating pants. This got creepy when the other users started talking in disembodied monotones.

Olivia looked horrified, and things got even worse when she inspected vibrating gadgets operated by phone apps for long-distance sexual encounters.

Her on-camera chats, which updated us on her virtual reality adventures, were edited with awkward bits between each sentence, an annoying pastiche of YouTube videos that felt palpably fake.

It was the TV equivalent of using teen slang. Auntie really shouldn’t try to hang out with the kids.

After half an hour, Olivia hadn’t managed to have a single valuable conversation in virtual reality. If this is the future of dating, the next generation will all have to be celibate.