Chris Fagan reveals toll of Hawks racism accusations was so bad he refused to leave his house during the daytime: ‘I was hurt, frustrated and bewildered’

Chris Fagan has opened up about the true impact of the Hawthorn racism saga and has admitted that he refused to leave his home during the day when things were at their worst.

Fagan, fellow coach Alastair Clarkson and former player welfare manager Jason Burt were all named over allegations of racism during their time with the Hawks.

All denied any wrongdoing, and all three were later acquitted after an official investigation by the AFL.

Fagan has admitted that the first few weeks of October 2022 were so stressful that he barely left his house.

The Lions coach said goodbye to the club and only went on his daily walk after dark so that he would not be recognized.

Fagan says he hardly went out during the day after the allegations

“I went through a period where I was just at home and didn’t really go out during the day,” Fagan said News Corp.

‘I like sports and walking, but yes, I waited every evening until it got dark to go for a walk.

“People don’t know the truth, and people can take sides, and I thought, If I put myself here, what would it be like? Will people come to Me and abuse Me?

“After a few weeks I realized I couldn’t live like this.

“So I went back to normal and found that I didn’t think anyone said a bad word about me.”

The seriousness of the allegations made for a hugely challenging time for Fagan and his loved ones.

“Hurt, frustrated, stunned,” Fagan summed up how he’s been feeling over the past year.

“To be honest, I also think it’s sad for everyone involved. All sides. No winners.

Fagan said the allegations affected his wife and those around him

The Lions have played very well this season and are determined to make it to the last Saturday in September

And I tried to remember back to that time and it was just a shock. I was amazed.

“My wife (Ursula) was the same. It was really annoying for her. We have been married for a long time: 37 years.

‘Married in 1985. We studied together. She knows me. She (read it) and I remember her looking at me and saying, ‘No, no. That’s not you’.

Following the allegations, Fagan’s wife Ursula went through a period of ill health which worries Brisbane’s coach.

“I don’t know if this is a coincidence or not, but she got a lot of flu and stuff in the three or four months after it all started, and all of a sudden she’s on blood pressure tablets,” he said.

“I don’t know if that’s a coincidence or just us getting older.

“Mum is in Tassie and the only connection Mum has to the world about what’s going on, other than when I talk to her, is the media, and she calls me concerned if anything happens about things.”

On Saturday night, Fagan’s high-flying Lions take on Port Adelaide at the Gabba for a provisional final berth.

Fagan says Lions football club have been ‘magnificent’ throughout the ordeal

The Lions have been a perennial contender under Fagan, with some tipping them to go all the way this year.

Fagan says the club was there to support him when he needed it during the saga.

“The club has been fantastic. I’ve told everyone I don’t want this to rule the world this year,” he said.

“I knew there would be a lot of publicity around but I said the best you guys can do for me is just get on with things and if I need to talk to you guys about stuff I will but otherwise I’ll just leave it with me.

And everyone respected that. In the beginning everyone came to look at me and that was a beautiful thing.’