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Cheryl has reflected on the loss of her late bandmate Sarah Harding, saying she wants to remember her friendship with the ‘bubbly’ star rather than her battle with cancer.
The Girls Aloud star, 39, spoke of spending some of Sarah’s final days together where they “laughed and cried”, saying she wants her illness to “retreat” in her mind instead of happier memories.
Sarah died last September at the age of 39 after being diagnosed with breast cancer, which subsequently spread to other parts of her body.
Grief: Cheryl has reflected on the loss of Sarah Harding, saying she doesn’t want to remember her friendship with the star her illness (both pictured with Kimberley Walsh, Nicola Roberts and Nadine Coyle)
Looking back on Sarah’s tragic death, Cheryl said she wanted to remember her friend from before her cancer diagnosis, as she spoke ahead of a gala dinner in Sarah’s memory next month.
In an article for FashionCheryl said, “I’d like to move forward by remembering Sarah for her illness.
“While memories of that time exist and are hard to shake off, they don’t hold up to the light they shone so brightly in the years before.”
The singer said she has many more happy memories of their friendship to focus on, rather than Sarah’s illness, adding that she wants to remember her boyfriend’s “fun, bubbly and deeply soft” personality instead.
Tragic: Sarah (pictured in March 2018) died last September at age 39 after being diagnosed with breast cancer, which subsequently spread to other parts of her body
Cheryl also revealed that she spent some of Sarah’s final days with her, where she said they “laughed and cried” together as they reminisced about their friendship.
She said: ‘In the last few days we have spent with her, we have laughed, cried, reminisced, cooked, watched spiritual programs (our shared love) and prayed together, those are the parts I will keep in my heart when I the disease fades into the background.’
Cheryl also spoke about the moment she learned of Sarah’s cancer diagnosis, saying her boyfriend told them while they were planning celebrations for Girls Aloud’s 20th anniversary.
She admitted to feeling utterly helpless and numb when Sarah told her about her illness and said she was trying to help in any way she could by sending care packages containing Sarah’s favorite items.
Memories The star, 39, spoke of spending some of Sarah’s final days together and said she wants her illness to “retreat” in her mind instead of happier memories (pictured in 2003)
Cheryl previously told MailOnline that Sarah’s dying wish was for her bandmates to host a gala in her memory, which led them to plant Sarah’s Primrose Ball.
Sarah’s Primrose Ball will take place at The Londoner Hotel on October 8 and will be hosted by Fearne Cotton and featured performances by Olly Alexander, Ricky Wilson and Chrissie Hynde.
The money raised at the gala dinner will go towards the Sarah Harding Breast Cancer Appeal research project, which will be conducted by Sarah’s oncologist Dr Sacha Howell.
Cheryl last spoke about the loss of her friend Sarah when she joined fellow Girls Aloud stars Nadine Coyle and Nicola Roberts on a podcast in July.
She admitted that she still feels the presence of her late bandmate Sarah as she describes an emotional moment.
Emotionally: Cheryl also spoke about hearing about Sarah’s cancer diagnosis, saying she felt completely “helpless” (pictured at the Race For Life in Sarah’s Memory)
The singer recalled a time when Hear Me Out – the Girls Aloud song Sarah named her autobiography after – mysteriously started playing on her car radio.
Speaking on the BBC Sounds 5 minutes on podcast with her bandmates, Cheryl explained how it “doesn’t feel like Sarah is gone at all.”
After completing the Race For Life in her honor, Cheryl began: “Last year I drove to Newcastle and spent weeks fiddling with my car trying to get the Bluetooth working, but it didn’t work.
“I was so furious about it that I gave up, I let it go for a few months. Then I got in my car and played Hear Me Out, my phone wasn’t on.’
She continued: ‘My phone wasn’t on! The music hadn’t been tampered with, nothing. I hadn’t even plugged it in yet, it was playing via Bluetooth, Hear Me Out.’
Fundraising: Cheryl previously told MailOnline that Sarah’s dying wish was for her bandmates (pictured in 2006) to host a gala for her, which led to them planting Sarah’s Primrose Ball
“I laughed and then I cried. What did she name the book after? Hear Me Out, it was her thing.
“It doesn’t feel like she’s gone at all. Frankly, I never experienced or foresee this grief.’
Cheryl, Nadine and Nicola recently completed the Race For Life in Sarah’s honor, while Kimberley Walsh completed the distance walk.
Kimberley did appear later when she did an Instagram Live with the other girls after the race.
The event comes shortly after Cheryl told MailOnline that her feelings of “helplessness were extremely overwhelming” when Sarah revealed there was no cure for her cancer.
Fundraising: Cheryl, Nadine and Nicola recently completed the Race For Life in Sarah’s honor, while Kimberley Walsh completed the distance walk
She said, “I asked her so much to give me something I could do to make her happy or comfortable, whatever.”
Cheryl continued, “Towards the end, she asked me to host a gala in her honor to fund a pivotal study her doctor was working on, so I’m committed to doing that.”
Nadine added: “She has spoken to us about this several times. Sarah felt very passionate about wanting to help other people in the same situation as her, or who are at risk of being in the same situation she was in.
“She really wanted to raise money herself, but unfortunately wasn’t good enough, so we promised her we’d do it for her.
“She would have loved the Race For Life – she would have loved to have been involved. We’re sure she’ll be with us in our thoughts on July 24 in Hyde Park.”
Event: Sarah’s Primrose Ball takes place at The Londoner Hotel on October 8, hosted by Fearne Cotton and a performance by Olly Alexander