- Chelsea led 6-0 at half-time as the match proved to be an embarrassing mismatch
- The Blues’ opponents are just seven years old and were miles behind in the draw
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Any ideas about Noah having to park the ark at Stamford Bridge were ill-conceived in a European match so embarrassingly mismatched that you wondered if Chelsea were making sure their goals came back-to-back just for fun.
Enzo Maresca’s men scored in the 12th and 13th minutes, then in the 18th and 21st, and then in the 39th and 41st, to lead 6-0 at half-time. Christopher Nkunku scored their seventh and eighth goals in the second half but refused to do his usual balloon celebration, realizing how loud that would have been.
The visitors in fourth place in the Armenian Premier League were tourists at Stamford Bridge. An hour before kick-off, their players were on the pitch, dressed up and taking selfies because this was a big occasion, for them and for Noah.
The club is only seven years old and is indeed named after the Bible story. They entered the Conference League through an extensive qualification process that began on July 11.
That was the preparation for this visit to the home of the competition favorites. Maresca continued his trend by making eleven changes, knowing a routine victory would have to follow anyway.
The record books show that Chelsea’s best ever win in Europe was 13-0 when they defeated Jeunesse Hautcharage in the 1971-72 Cup Winner’s Cup. Frankly, it depended on how much misery they wanted to cause the visitors, whose supporters, to their credit, sang their songs the entire time.
Cole Palmer was here too, sitting in front of the press box as we all wait to see if he will be deemed fit to play against Arsenal in the Premier League next Sunday. He was not named in the Conference League squad that Chelsea submitted to UEFA earlier this season. The club’s feeling was that he would not be needed in the league phase. Although they received some criticism for that call, they were right. If Palmer played here, who knows how many more Chelsea would have scored.
Felix went close to seven in the second half with a toe-poke after Chancharevich gifted the ball straight to him as he tried to pass out from behind, but Noah’s goalkeeper redeemed himself with the save. Chancharevich was needed again as Nkunku tried to turn and shoot, before stopping Felix from burying the rebound. Nkunku then crashed the ball against the crossbar after being played in from behind by Renato Veiga.
Although he had not scored, George impressed on the right wing, with Chelsea supporters showing their appreciation when he was removed after 68 minutes.
In the 69th minute it was heaven when Felix’s through ball found Nkunku. Chancharevich stopped the first chip attempt, but not the rebound, which trickled in even as Aleksandar Miljkovic retreated to the goal line. There was no balloon party.
In the 75th minute it was 8–0, with Austrian referee Christian-Petru Chlohirca awarding Chelsea a penalty via his pitch monitor after Dewsbury-Hall was fouled by Yan Eteki. Nkunku sent it straight down the middle. Once again no balloon came out of the sock. He saves that for real competitions.