A mother-of-three has revealed how cancer ravaged her body before she developed any noticeable symptoms, prompting her to change her lifestyle forever.
Kate Middlemiss was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer in May 2022. She was only 36 years old.
Until that moment, the young woman had done nothing but try to excel in a life that conformed to society’s expectations.
She worked hard. Had a great career. Helped her husband Reece with the family construction business. And saved her money to start a family and buy a house.
“I did everything right, as it should be,” she told FEMAIL.
A mother-of-three has revealed how cancer ravaged her body before she developed any noticeable symptoms – prompting her to change her lifestyle forever
But as she endured months of harrowing chemotherapy, a double mastectomy, reconstruction surgery and recovery, she realized the one thing she had always forgotten to do.
Live.
Now her family of five is traveling through Australia.
“We took 12 months off, put the business on hold and are having a great time,” she said.
‘I’m glad I realized I had to live before it was too late. Even though that message was conveyed in a very harsh way.
‘Unfortunately, such traumas are necessary to put life into perspective.’
Kate was taking a bath with her then three-year-old when she felt a small lump the size of a pea under her arm while washing.
Kate Middlemiss was diagnosed with triple-negative breast cancer in May 2022. She was only 36 years old
‘I’m glad I realized I had to live before it was too late. Even though that message was delivered in a very harsh way,” she said
‘It was hard and not like a marble, but rather strangely shaped like a pebble. It also had a root. So I’d love to pick it up and move it, but the root connected it somewhere down the road,” she said.
The mother of three’s heart sank as soon as she felt the lump.
‘I just knew it was bad. “I screamed at my husband who came running into the bathroom,” she said.
Kate’s grandmother died of breast cancer, so despite testing negative for the breast cancer gene, she had always been vigilant.
The next day she called her doctor, who immediately sent her for an MRI, CT scan and mammography.
Within 24 hours she received a call from her doctor who told her ‘it doesn’t look good’.
Her family is on a road trip through Australia
She was referred to a breast specialist who sent her for a biopsy which revealed the name of the breast cancer – one of the most aggressive and difficult to treat of all.
‘The thought of death never occurred to me. “I have three kids, I’m too busy to die and they need me,” she said.
The following months were a blur of endless appointments, chemotherapy and surgeries.
“I told my husband he was unlucky – he liked my long hair and my breasts and treatment meant he had to get rid of both,” she laughed.
But Kate did struggle with her hair loss.
“My hair was my identity, which sounds weird now,” she said.
The family kept all conversations at home real.
‘My now eleven-year-old asked if I was going to die when I told him I had cancer. I said no and he said, ‘That’s okay, let’s just do what we have to do,'” she said.
She said cancer diagnosis forced her to switch gears and ‘live’
Her sassy three-year-old didn’t understand the diagnosis but loved the chemo day.
“He’d say mommy’s going to get her superhero medicine today. And then I would come home and we would see if it worked and he would ask if I could fly and we would jump off the couch to see,” she said.
Kate isn’t one to cut corners, so she followed every recommendation from her doctors, including radical therapies and a double mastectomy. She also has a scan every 12 months to make sure she is still cancer-free.
Kate said the cancer came at a ‘cruel’ time.
“I had just started to reclaim my identity after having children. “I even had weight-loss surgery a year before my cancer diagnosis,” she said.
She had quit her corporate job and started working online for a beauty brand Monat.
‘I felt really good about my work and helping other women feel empowered. Then I lost my hair and thought, how can I sell these products without hair,” she said.
Kate wants every woman, young and old, to check her breasts for lumps – she says she’s still here with her family because she found hers early
But instead of rejection from the community she had developed, she found tremendous support.
“It gave me purpose and something to focus on instead of chemo,” she said.
Ultimately, she achieved goals and became a top marketer while receiving chemotherapy. Just a month after the treatment was completed, she earned an Asia Pacific award for her work.
She still works online and funds her family’s all-Australian adventure.
‘We’ve changed gears. My husband quit his business when I got sick. Now we’ve put it on hold to travel. It will be there when we return. “We want to make the most of life for now,” she said.
She wants to make sure she lives well while she has the chance.
‘Repetition weighs on my thoughts. I try to stay positive, but I don’t know how to take away that fear. Even though I have done everything I can to prevent it from coming back,” she said.
‘My husband only reassures me. He says, ‘Honey, if it comes back, we’ll deal with it,’ so we’re making the most of what we’ve built up along the way.”
Kate wants every woman, young and old, to check her breasts for lumps.
Kate will be considered ‘completely clear’ once she passes the five-year post-surgery cancer-free anniversary
‘If you feel anything, get it tested. I’m here because I acted on it right away. “If I had put it down to having children, or blocked airways, I might not have made it,” she said.
‘Early detection is everything. If it’s nothing and you’ve had it checked, then it’s fine, but it might not be nothing.’
She added that “by the time you are symptomatic” for one of the more aggressive cancers it is “too late.”
She also wants people to be open and honest about their feelings.
“I didn’t know how many people cared or loved me until I was diagnosed. People let me know that I changed their lives or made them brighter,” she said.
“We shouldn’t wait for people to get sick or for funerals to say these nice things.”
Kate will be considered ‘completely clear’ once she passes the five-year post-surgery cancer-free anniversary.