Can an orgasm really make you go blind? TRACEY COX debunks the most common sex myths – from period pregnancy to prostitution
Sex myths are (almost) as old as sex itself.
Some are relatively harmless, old-fashioned misconceptions, but others are harmful stereotypes that influence the way society perceives certain people.
How much of that did you believe (or still believe)?
MYTH: Masturbation will blind you, make you impotent and damage your health
Your great-grandmother was convinced that even a little DIY would make her sons blind.
The generations that followed were no less paranoid: they feared that masturbation would lead to all kinds of health problems, from hair loss to impotence.
Blame the ancient Greeks and Romans for letting athletes go without sex before a big event: they believed that ejaculating beforehand would make you weak.
The latest sex conspiracy doing the rounds is that masturbating takes away your energy, strength and focus.
‘No Nut November’ challenges men not to ejaculate for the entire month of November. Why? The purported health benefits include improved semen quality, greater stamina, reduced stress, improved concentration and self-control, and reduction of erectile dysfunction. Oh, and thicker hair!
Sexpert Tracey Cox (pictured) has discussed what it can feel like when your ex-partner becomes the person you hoped he would be – with a new partner
The truth: Masturbating has never made anyone blind or impotent. There is also no research to support the claim that it dilutes sporting prowess.
Every health claim made for ‘No Nuts November’, when examined, produces a result of ‘no real scientific evidence’.
Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller says there is no scientific evidence that giving up masturbation and ejaculation will improve your health. In any case, there are more potential health benefits to be gained from indulging in complacency than from abstinence.
MYTH: MEN WHO VISITS SEX WORKERS ARE UGLY DIRTY OLD MEN
If you have to pay for sex, you must be unwanted, socially awkward, extremely unattractive, or deviant. Right?
The stereotypical image of a shady man in a trench coat looking for a secret, debauched encounter has been around for centuries – and refuses to go away.
The truth: I can tell you anecdotally that this is simply not true: I know many men who have paid for sex and not one fits this description.
Research also shows that men who pay for sex come from all walks of life and age groups.
They range from young professionals on stag nights to married men in sexless relationships and all visit sex workers for different reasons.
Some are lonely and companionship and connection are the motivation.
Others do it to explore sexual acts they don’t want to ask of their partners for fear of being judged.
Speaking of prostitution, let’s tackle this myth too…
Only 36 percent of dates now involve the man asking the woman out, paying and initiating sex, says a new study from the University of Kansas (file photo)
MYTH: ALL FEMALE SEX WORKERS ARE DRUG ADDICTS AND FORCED TO DO IT
Most people believe that women who choose to sell her body for sex must have a very bad reason for doing so. She struggles with addiction, comes from a troubled background and is forced to turn to sex work because there is no other way for her to make money.
The truth: Yes, some sex workers come from troubled backgrounds, and some have substance abuse issues, but this is far from the whole story.
If your definition of sex work is providing a sexual service for money, it has expanded significantly in the past decade.
Many sex workers never have physical contact with clients and have never even met them in person. Also, not all sex work happens on the street corner.
Some women do it to finance their studies through sites like Sugar Daddy (marketed as a dating site but connected young women with wealthy older men who won’t just take them out for ice cream) or OnlyFans, where women money can offer ‘private videos’.
Sex work can be lucrative and many women appreciate the autonomy it can provide.
Viewing all sex workers as damaged oversimplifies the complexity of their lives and increases the stigma surrounding sex work.
Many women in the sector choose to become sex workers and many come from stable, supportive backgrounds.
MYTH: YOU CAN’T GET PREGNANT ON YOUR PERIOD.
Yes, this old chestnut is still going around – despite there being a lot of ‘period babies’ around who are living proof that this isn’t true. The assumption is that ovulation and menstruation are too far apart for fertilization to occur.
The truth: Although the chances are lower, it is still possible to get pregnant during your period because sperm can stay in the body for up to five days. If a woman ovulates shortly after her period, there is a chance that an egg will be fertilized.
Therefore, it is not a reliable method of contraception.
MYTH: WATCHING PORN damages relationships and is addictive
There is a widespread belief that porn is bad. It is seen as something that women hate, that destroys trust in relationships and turns men into sex addicts.
It was considered such a threat that reputable and thorough research was finally done on porn use by men. And guess what? Although some men struggle with compulsive porn use, the majority who view it do so without significant negative consequences for their relationship or well-being.
The truth: Most men watch porn for entertainment. It’s something fun to do, just like masturbating is something fun to do. Many women also enjoy watching, and couples who watch together report higher sexual satisfaction than those who don’t.
It is not without problems. It’s true that watching too much porn can make sex with your partner seem uninteresting in comparison. (The variety of sex acts offered on porn sites is mind-boggling.) But porn isn’t the problem. The problems come because men think porn is real sex and mistake it for sex education.
HOMOSEXUALITY CAN BE CURED
This is one of the most damaging and persistent myths of all: thinking that homosexuality is a disease or defect that can be ‘cured’ through ‘conversion therapy’.
Proponents of this conspiracy claim that sexual orientation is a choice and that LGBTQ+ individuals can be “reprogrammed” to be heterosexual through religious or psychological methods.
The truth: ‘No scientific basis’ is a term you will become familiar with in this article. It absolutely applies here.
Most major psychological and psychiatric organizations have debunked conversion therapy as ineffective and extremely harmful (it can lead to depression, anxiety and self-harm).
Fortunately, it is a theory that a minority adheres to. Diverse sexual orientations are widely accepted as a natural part of human behavior, influenced by things like genetics, hormones and environmental factors. None of them can be cured.
View Tracey’s product ranges – Supersex and Edge – on lovehoney. Give the gift of great sex this Christmas! Details can be found at traceycox.com.