BTS member RM, 29, reveals he wanted ‘to die’ during candid discussion about pressures of being leader of the South Korean boyband

BTS member RM (formerly known as Rap Monster), revealed that he sometimes “wanted to die” due to the pressure he was under as the leader of the South Korean boy band.

The music artist, 29 – who is currently undergoing mandatory military service – got candid about the expectations he faced when speaking to fellow member Jimin.

The chat was filmed shortly before RM began his military service in December 2023, with the star also sharing a glimpse of his latest studio album Right Place, Wrong Person – which was officially released on May 24.

During the discussion, which was released on the group’s main page YouTube page On Friday, RM spoke about his feelings about being the leader of the band – which also consists of Jimin, V, Jin, Suga, J-Hope and Jungkook.

‘In our team I am the one who says the right things, the nice things. I am performing to represent the team,” he explained.

‘That’s what I always do. And people expect me to give speeches and do interviews,” he continued, with Jimin adding, “In English.”

RM said, “Right. And to speak out and things like that. But basically, you know me, so you know this, but I’m basically just an insignificant 29 year old guy living in Korea. That’s who I am.’

Jimin stepped in to respond with, “I understand what you’re talking about,” while the rapper added, “I guess I can’t say I’m ‘average’ but I’m just a 29 year old living a live a slightly different life than others.’

‘The same goes for you. You are only a 28 year old man. But for the past decade, we have felt this burden.”

“At some point we just had to be conscientious and different,” RM further said. “I love BTS because of our music.”

However, he then revealed that if he “kept worrying about what everyone else thought, if I kept going like this, I just… felt like I wanted to die.”

“Not being able to say the things I want to say — not that I want to say everything that comes to mind — I think that’s why I worked on this album,” the star added.

The video later transitioned to a solo confessional with Jimin, who reflected RM’s feelings.

‘Don’t know. All I know is that he’s had a hard time, and I can’t even imagine the burden of being the leader of BTS.”

“Even though I’m standing right next to him,” Jimin continued. ‘I can’t imagine what that pressure would feel like. I’m not saying that it isn’t difficult for the other members, but the weight of being a leader is a bit different.’

‘I’m sure our fans know what I mean. I learn a lot from watching him from behind, so when I see a side of him every now and then that is very human, I sympathize with him.’

Elsewhere in the 30-minute clip, Jimin explained about RM, “He always felt a lot of pressure about the team, and there were so many things he wanted to do for the members.”

“He had so much to say to our fans, so thinking about that all the time was causing him a lot of stress. He has great things to say and great ideas, but when you start thinking about what everyone else is thinking, it becomes so stressful.”

RM also got the chance to talk about his second studio album: Right Place, Wrong Person with Jimin.

At one point, Jimin questioned the meaning behind the LP’s title, to which RM replied, “Someone like me.”

“Like, it’s like if you work at a company, but you feel out of place at work… I shouldn’t be there… If you think about that as you listen, it’ll be interesting.”

The star also explained the motivation behind the album, saying, “I just wanted to be as honest as possible.”

“And while I was working on my new album… since this is about right and wrong, a lot of things happened to me while I was working on it.”

The music artist continued, “So many things happened that most people would never experience in their lives. And I ended up on a completely different course.”

The star released Right Place, Wrong Person on Friday – marking the rapper’s second solo studio album. He previously dropped the LP titled Indigo in 2022.

He has also released two solo mixtapes in the past, including RM (2015) and Mono (2018).

Right Place, Wrong Person is currently #59 on the iTunes Top Albums chart since being dropped.

There are also a total of 11 tracks on the LP, including LOST!, Nuts and Come Back To Me.

In 2013, Namjoon debuted with South Korean boy band BTS after training for a total of three years. Since then, the group has built a global fan base and received numerous awards, including five Grammy nominations.