BRYONY GORDON: The side-effect of giving up booze no one tells you about – and how I overcame it
When I decided to quit drinking in 2017, it was considered very strange.
Strangely enough, refusing a glass of wine at a party required extensive interrogation. Oddly enough, invitations to said parties dried up faster than the time it took to say “make me a lime and soda.” Strange enough that I considered going out in a T-shirt that said, “No, I’m not pregnant, just an alcoholic,” so I didn’t have to explain myself every time I met a waiter with a tray of champagne. whistles waved away.
When people made the effort to accommodate my strange lifestyle choice, they inevitably offered me a lukewarm glass of elderflower syrup, as if I were a wood spirit and not a problem drinker with a pickled liver.
In 2024, things are thankfully very different, in part because it is now accepted that you don’t have to be an alcoholic to embrace a sober lifestyle. There are all kinds of options available for people who – for whatever reason – are tired of drinking.
Take Nozeco, a brand of non-alcoholic prosecco (whose name makes me excited almost as much as thinking about the benders I exposed my body to), which is popular among my friends who are not addicted to alcohol, but no longer want to age with a hangover.
They’re also championing a booze-free G&T – a concept that would have been unthinkable to mums a decade ago, who got through the day just thinking about ‘gin o’clock’. Thanks to the rise of ‘botanical’ drinks, these alternatives are extremely popular (even Aldi and Lidl are making their own versions).
NHS statistics show that more and more young people are choosing not to drink; by 2022, 19 percent of adults in Britain said they didn’t drink, compared to 16 percent in 2011. Then there’s Sober October, launched in 2014 by Macmillan Cancer Support as a fundraising challenge and now, in its tenth year, as ubiquitous as Dry January.
Today is of course November 1 and I want to appeal to everyone who has become awake, fresh and energetic through their own Sober October. Maybe you’re thinking about the delicious bottle of wine you’ll drink with dinner, or the cocktail you’ll enjoy every sip of when you meet up with friends tonight.
But what if you… didn’t? What if you went ahead and decided to do a No-Booze November and a Clear-Headed Christmas? What if you joined the non-alcoholic crowd and stayed away from grog all year round?
I don’t know a single person whose life has been made worse by becoming a teetotaler. Friends who worry that they drink too much report feeling better both mentally and physically, while ‘moderate’ drinkers who drink alcohol only occasionally will tell me that their sleep improves radically if they forego their evening glass of wine .
This is all backed by a huge amount of research. The International Agency for Research on Cancer decades ago classified alcohol as a Group 1 carcinogen, grouping it alongside substances such as asbestos and radiation, while the World Health Organization declared last year that there was ‘no safe’ level of drink consumption. In short: if alcohol were invented now, it wouldn’t be allowed.
And yet we still turn to this legal drug like an old acquaintance (the sneaky kind). And when I fantasize about an icy glass of rose after a hard day, I remind myself of this even icier truth: alcohol is a depressant that masquerades remarkably well as a relaxant, and any problem I try to banish with booze will disappear . don’t return until the next morning, bigger and badder and much less biddable.
With more than seven alcohol-free years under my belt, I am often asked for tips on how to stop drinking. My biggest piece of advice is to limit everything to one day. It’s vaguely terrifying to announce that you’re quitting alcohol forever, and it puts way too much pressure on yourself. Focus on the 24 hours ahead of you, and worry about the next 24 when you get there.
Be aware of sugar cravings, which was one of the most surprising parts of my sobriety journey (and realizing that I wasn’t a fun party girl, just socially awkward and shy).
I’d always thought of myself as a savory person, but it turns out I got all my sugar from wine – and when I stopped drinking pints of that, I started craving pints of Ben & Jerry’s instead.
I hear this all the time from people who become teetotalers. They are terribly ashamed of the sugar that they cannot stop eating, without focusing on the benefits they bring to their body by removing alcohol from it. Then they also try to give up sugar and go on a diet, which only makes it more difficult to stay away from the drink. This is why so many people get stuck in cycles of alcohol restriction or binge drinking. You don’t have to give up everything at once, and you will find it easier to eliminate unhealthy things from your life if you focus on one vice at a time.
Focus on what you add to your life, rather than what you take away. The Chancellor may have slashed the price of a pint of beer, but drinkers are still facing high alcohol prices. There are apps that not only count up your abstinence days, but also how much money you’ve saved; When I started my sobriety journey, I downloaded one to my phone and treated myself to a massage at the end of every month with the money I didn’t spend.
But above all, remember that quitting drinking brings richness to your life that will be reflected in much more than just your bank balance. And as the sober months turn into years, you will witness the immeasurable value of a life not drenched in booze.
Joy of an only child
Bryony with her daughter Edie – her only child who she says is ‘perfection’
Many people are angry about the decline in the birth rate, which has fallen to a new low of 1.44 children per woman. As a mother of only 1.0 children, I have to defend those of us who refuse to bow to the pressure to have more children.
As wonderful as a large brood may seem to some, it should not be unthinkable that there are women who cherish the idea of an only child. When someone makes the mistake of rudely asking if I’m disappointed that I don’t have more after my daughter Edie, I tell them the truth: that we didn’t want to try to improve on perfection!
Hooray for Saoirse Ronan, who said what every woman was thinking, while Paul Mescal and Eddie Redmayne joked about the idea of using a phone to defend themselves in case of an attack.
“That’s what girls have to think about all the time,” the 30-year-old actress noted on The Graham Norton Show a week ago – to loud applause.
She’s right. How sad that even the most progressive men are so out of touch with the realities of women’s lives, especially as the clocks turn back and our minds turn to the dangers of walking home alone in the dark.
These things don’t need to be explained in 2024 (nor do we still need to worry about them), but kudos to Ronan for doing this.
Emma is right, the bus beats a Porsche!
I think Emma Raducanu is just being sensible in her transportation choices, says Bryony
Pictures of Emma Raducanu boarding a bus have caused a stir among fans who are more used to seeing the 21-year-old driving around town in a £125,000 Porsche. But apparently Raducanu’s deal with the flashy car company has now ended, and so she has been ‘forced’ to switch to public transport.
I think the young star is just sensible. In London you are much safer from traffic controllers and Sadiq Khan’s hated Ulez plan in a double-decker than in a top sports car.
Have you ever felt like life is a little…too much? Bestselling author and journalist Bryony Gordon is here to leave the shame behind and delve into the messier bits of life. Look for The Life of Bryony wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes appear every Monday and Friday.