British expat unleashes on Melbourne after just three months: ‘Here are the things I hate about the city’

According to a young British expatriate, homeless crackheads and a “badly put together” public transport system are just two of the most “annoying” things about Melbourne.

Ralph Smith made the scathing remarks about the city in a controversial TikTok clip that has been viewed by more than a million people.

The young Brit, who lived in Melbourne for three months, started the video by explaining that while he loves the city, he finds some things super ‘frustrating’.

His biggest complaint turned out to be the city’s public buses, trams and trains.

“I’ve never seen such a poorly put together system,” he sneered.

A major problem for the young traveler appears to be the Myki cards – which are used to pay for travel.

‘The only way to travel around the city is with Myki cards. That is if you are on the train, tram or bus. But if you forget this card, you’re literally screwed,” he complained.

He described the cards as “useless” and said he would rather tap his phone or bank card, as commuters in Sydney and London do.

“You can’t add it to your phone, so if you’re using an iPhone, you can’t add this phone to your wallet to tap on and off,” he added.

‘If someone who doesn’t carry a wallet has to carry it around with them everywhere and then forgets it, you can’t get on a tram or train. It’s very frustrating.’

His next complaint is closely related.

Ralph hates crossing the road at traffic lights or driving his car in heavy traffic.

“Trying to get from one corner to the other can take five minutes,” he said.

‘I do not make a joke. These lights never change.’

He said it’s the same while driving.

“I feel like you’re just always stuck in traffic, like wherever you are, the lights take ages to change and it’s so frustrating.”

The third thing Ralph mentioned is the lack of accommodation in the city.

“If you’re currently looking for a place to rent or buy in Melbourne, that seems impossible. Once the place is on the list within a day, it seems as if it has been taken from you and already sold.’

The fourth is the weather – he hates having to be prepared for the day that can change in an instant.

‘You can stand in the sun with a T-shirt on and the next moment it’s thundering and that’s how it changes all day. You never know what to really wear or what to puck and it’s really frustrating.”

The crackheads seemed to be the last item on Ralph’s list of ‘things I hate about Melbourne’.

“I’ve never seen so many homeless people cut off crackheads in such a small area,” he said.

The young Brit who lived in Melbourne for three months started the video by explaining that while he loves the city, he finds some things super ‘frustrating’

‘The road between Flinders Street Station and I think Collins Street is filled with homeless people and crackheads. People hitting walls and shouting out loud.’

He added that he does not feel safe walking past the homeless community.

“I was out walking with a friend and a homeless person comes up to me and starts yelling in my face like they’re crazy, trying to get things from you, it’s really not fun,” he said.

“I don’t know what they can do to fix it, but it’s really no fun.”

People were quick to respond to Ralph’s video – one of them said most people don’t use the cards – they just ride for free.

“I did that and got fined,” he admitted.

Another said that the Myki phone issue is unique to iPhone users.

Some people have added more “things to detest” to the list, including poor internet and cafes closing at 5pm.

“I live in Melbourne and there’s no better video,” one resident agreed.

Ralph has since returned to London.