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‘There’s been so much homophobia’: Brian Dowling says he and husband Arthur Gourounlian have received anti-gay messages since welcoming their daughter Blake via surrogate
Brian Dowling has spoken of how “so much homophobia” has been directed against him and his husband since they had a baby via surrogate.
The former Big Brother star, 44, and his partner Arthur Gourounlian welcomed their daughter Blake in September, with Brian’s sister Aoife carrying the baby.
The pair have been open about their surrogacy, with Brian sharing what a side effect was that they’ve received numerous homophobic messages, as well as constant questions about which of them is the biological father.
Heartbreaking: Brian Dowling has revealed how there has been ‘so much homophobia’ directed against him and his husband since they had a baby via surrogate
Speaking of Kate Ferdinand’s Mixed Podcast, he said, “There has been much disgrace. The amount of homophobia that Arthur and I… it was so strange. Aoife has also made a public appearance.’
Brian spoke of his frustration at feeling like he had to get permission from others to start a family given the lack of legislation surrounding surrogacy in Ireland.
He said: ‘Our journey to parenthood is very unique and with the lack of legislation in Ireland, who dictates who can have a family and who can’t?
‘I remember we came out in 2001 and we couldn’t get married, there was the (marriage) referendum in 2015. Who decides if I can get married?
Family: The former Big Brother star, 44, and his partner Arthur Gourounlian welcomed their daughter Blake in September, while Brian’s sister Aoife carried the baby
Who decides when I can have my family? I just thought no, we’re going to do this. There were times when we backed off and if we did an interview or something, I’d say, can you avoid those questions?’
He added: “There was interest in who the father is. I get messages every day. People are obsessed with DNA and biology.’
Brian explained that although Aoife was carrying the baby, she is not the biological mother as they used an egg donor from Portugal.
Speaking of his appreciation for his sister and what she has done for him and Arthur, Brian said he looks at her “so differently” now.
Brian said, “There’s been a lot of embarrassment. The amount of homophobia that Arthur and I… it was so strange’
He said, “Aoife never thought the baby was hers. Aoife knows it’s her niece. We have eight other cousins and it’s exactly the same relationship.
“When we made this public, we got all these things like, how could she give her baby away? Shameful. She was like, it’s not my baby. Aoife doesn’t think motherhood is for her, but as a woman she wanted to experience pregnancy.
“She was very emotional when she gave birth. She always wanted a C-section, that was from the beginning. The whole of a long labor, but a caesarean section is more clinical. We were there with her and knew the date and time.
“There was a point when we had the baby with Aoife and we quickly held Blake and she said go you I got this. She was physically cut open and bleeding and I thought, she’s so fragile in the hospital right now and she’s telling me to go. I thought, how brave is she?
Special moment: The reality star shared a photo from the delivery room, showing the couple grabbing Brian’s sister Aoife, who was their surrogate, shortly after she gave birth
“I look at her so differently. She could call me for anything right now and she hasn’t.’
Brian shared how his and Arthur’s conversation about having kids started when they moved back into his childhood home in 2020 due to Covid.
He said: ‘In 2020 we lived with mom and dad again in the room I had as a child with my husband, it was the strangest thing. Covid gave us time to stop.
“It gave us time to catch our breath. It was time to go, what do we want? And we realized that we want a family.
“My sisters always said I would do it for you in a funny way, but the one who always said it persistently was my sister Aoife.”