A ‘break-up coach’ who helps people develop ‘self-love’ has revealed the three ‘controversial things’ that made her relationship work.
In a TikTok video which has been viewed almost 650,000 times, Southampton resident Lauren Savage admits the boundaries she and her boyfriend of three years Somto have set are ‘a little bit different, but that’s what works for us.’
But while many viewers are labeling Lauren’s relationship tricks as “healthy” and “mature,” others are wondering if the video is an attempt to convince themselves that their approach is a good one.
Lauren, who posts under the name @laurenjasminecoaching, admits that “no two relationships will ever be the same” before introducing her first trick: having two duvets.
Lauren pictured with Somto, her partner of three years. The couple don’t usually talk when they’re apart, which means they’ll have more to talk about when they get back together
She said it’s the “solution to an ongoing problem” that’s wreaking havoc on their relationship.
“We both cocoon ourselves. I love being wrapped up, he loves being wrapped up,” she told viewers.
In the past, they would really lose sleep over arguments over the duvet.
“He would take it from me, and I would take it from him,” she said.
Anticipating potential criticism from viewers about the couple’s approach, Lauren stressed that she and Somto “do like to cuddle” – and that the two duvet hack doesn’t stop them from doing so.
She added, “They’re duvets. You can move them around. If we want to cuddle, we can still do that.”
On to the second “controversial point” that makes her relationship so good: Lauren told her audience that she and Somto tend not to talk to each other when one of them is away.
Lauren Savage, from Southampton, who posts on TikTok as @laurenjasminecoaching, is a ‘breakup coach’. She shared three ‘controversial things’ that make her relationship work
While Lauren and her partner sleep in the same bed, they have separate duvets, which makes for a more comfortable night. They also refrain from kissing and cuddling in front of other people.
“When one of us goes away for a night or a weekend, we don’t really talk,” Lauren said.
She explained that not texting all the time is “a way we respect each other’s ‘me’ time and each other’s own independent plans.”
While it wasn’t always that way — early in their relationship, the two “just texted” — Lauren was quick to emphasize the benefits of setting these kinds of boundaries.
“When we get back together – and we will, because I’m only going away for a weekend – we’ll have so much to talk about,” she told viewers.
The couple didn’t completely cut off contact, however, and still exchanged “good night” and “good morning” text messages when they were apart.
The third and final ‘controversial point’ is Lauren and Somto’s shared preference when it comes to public displays of affection.
“We don’t do in-person interaction,” Lauren says, adding that her siblings “point that out to her” because they are “extremely tactile” with their own partners.
While her siblings “constantly hold hands” and hug “regardless of who is there for them,” Lauren and Somto “just don’t.”
Several TikTokers praised Lauren’s approach to her relationship and agreed with her three boundaries
She added: “I think it’s just the type of people we are.”
However, Lauren was quick to assure viewers that they are actually very affectionate with each other when they are alone and that they occasionally break their own rules, holding hands in public or kissing in front of her family.
She stressed that the lack of public interaction with each other does not mean that she and Somto do not love each other.
“That doesn’t mean we’re just comrades,” she added.
Lauren indicated that she doesn’t find the three relationship tips ‘that strange’.
One person commented: ‘Separate duvets are actually elite’.
Another added: ‘It’s so real that you can’t force each other to talk when you’re both doing your own thing… I shouldn’t have to expect my other half to spend ALL her time on me.’
A third person agreed, writing, “Amen to not talking when we’re not together.”
Others explained that having separate duvets is not controversial at all in some parts of Europe, including Scandinavian countries and Iceland
TikTokers also appreciated Lauren’s approach to showing respect. A fourth person posted: ‘It’s so real that you show no respect to your family.’
A fifth praised Lauren and Somto’s approach as a whole, writing: ‘I don’t know why this is controversial to people? This really does sound like a safe, trusting relationship and I honestly respect everything you’ve just said!’
A sixth said: ‘Sounds healthy and not codependent’.
Others agreed, especially regarding the two duvets, explaining that this is a common solution in many parts of Europe.
One user explains: ‘I’ve been through the whole separate duvet thing in a hotel in Iceland (same bed) and honestly it’s a real game changer.’
A second added: ‘Separate duvets are the norm in Scandinavia and that is a GIFT FROM GOD!!!’
Another group of users took the opportunity to share their own relationship tips.
One of them explained that instead of buying separate duvets, they “just bought one bigger duvet,” which is “more aesthetically pleasing” than two different single duvets.
While fellow TikTokers took the opportunity to share their own relationship hacks, others were more critical
While a second acquaintance said: ‘I wouldn’t even want to sleep in the same bed’.
Still, not everyone agreed that Lauren’s “controversial stuff” was the answer.
Someone complained, “I suffer from severe separation anxiety and have been in a relationship for 5 years. I wish I could stop texting altogether.”
While someone said, ‘Are you trying to convince us or yourself?’