I was born black and male, but now I identify a white woman – I know race is not real

Like many young women, Dr. Ronnie Gladden grew up wanting to look like Snow White, fantasizing about a Pride & Prejudice lifestyle and emulating Elle Fanning’s fashion.

Ronnie dreamed of lying outside in the sun and getting a tan and having blond hair that lightened in the summer.

However, this was not a typical set of ambitions, as Ronnie was a black boy growing up on the west side of Cincinnati.

Now middle-aged, Ronnie is a professor of English at Cincinnati State Technical and Community College, a public speaker and actor, and he uses this platform to promote what he calls a “transracial” identity.

Despite being born black and male, Ronnie – who uses the pronoun she – now identifies as a white woman regardless of outward appearances, saying there is an “oppressed white female identity” within them that begs to be set free .

Ronnie is part of a little-known community of people who are “transracial,” meaning they are both transgender and identify as transracial.

People who are transracial believe that race is a social construct and therefore a “choice,” but the idea of ​​”changing” race is highly controversial.

A famous example of a transracial person is Rachel Dolezal, the former NAACP leader, who was exposed in 2015 as a white woman whose family is primarily of European descent.

The revelation sparked outrage around the world and on social media after she said the “idea of ​​race is a lie.”

During an interview with BBC’s Newsnight that year, she claimed that ethnicity is not biological and compared being ‘transracial’ to being transgender – prompting X (formerly Twitter) users to accuse her of using ‘white privilege’ to push her arguments towards to put forward.

Despite the criticism, Rachel doubled down on her transracial identity, describing herself as “unapologetically Black” in a 2019 documentary.

Rachel praised Dr. Ronnie Gladden’s work, saying it “encourages us to expand our concept of acceptance and inclusion.”

Dr. Ronnie, who holds a PhD in educational leadership from Northern Kentucky University, endorses the idea that there is no innate or biological difference between races.

They argue that race is a social construct based on how people view and treat others, and how people treat themselves.

“I know race doesn’t really exist,” Ronnie writes in their book. “It’s only that way because society says so.”

Ronnie underwent surgery, with a first rhinoplasty at the age of 19, combined with ‘some work on the lips’.

They also wear foundation in a lighter shade than their skin, but they recognize that their outward appearance does not convey to the world their inner sense of being a white woman.

“My skin is quite brown in terms of skin color,” Ronnie said recently BBC Radio 4. My hair is thick. It has twists and waves. Does a lot of different things, but I see that as an expression of my thoughts.’

In the same interview, Ronnie described how the feeling of being a white woman dates from a very young age.

Already in kindergarten, at the age of four, they wanted to be like their white peers.

The academic explained: ‘I remember […] being outside on the playground and wanting to animate in the same way I saw my classmates – in the way their hair reacted to the wind and fluttered around. I wanted to have rosy cheeks.”

Describe the feeling further during a TedX During his conversation, Ronnie explained, “I present as black and male, but inside I possess a white girl inside.”

They continued, “That’s when I knew […] that I was attracted to the white female aesthetic. I made a magnetic connection with the hair texture, the skin color, the bone structure, the social cues and the math of it all.”

Ronnie described this realization as “surprising, mind-boggling, intimidating and extremely uncomfortable, to say the least.”

They told Medium that the “psychological weight” of that realization sent them into “the depths of depression and a small oblivion.”

According to Ronnie, people might argue that as a young child, surrounded by mostly white children, “it would make sense that you would feel like you should look like this.”

However, the feeling has continued into adult life.

Dr. Gladden experienced violence as a child and youth, including the murder of their half-sister when he was in high school. Among other childhood traumas, the writer has described their father as abusive.

Poignantly, they reveal how they believed they could have withstood the violence had they been a white girl, saying, “I thought there was a power of beauty, a power of skin.”

According to the writer, they could have given the message to “back off” with “that kind of authority embodied in white femininity.”

Ronnie, who has been in therapy for almost 20 years, said transitioning from within is something they’ve spent a lot of time thinking about.

This is something they explained in detail in their book White Girl Within: Letters of Self-Discovery Between a Transgender and Transracial Black Man and His Inner Female.

The book takes the form of a series of letters written from the identity of Dr. Smooth as a black man and white woman.

According to Ronnie, they saw themselves “reflected” in a number of women growing up, including Full House character Kimmy Gibler, rock star Joan Jett and actor Anne Hathaway, describing the sensation as “persistent, consistent and persistent throughout.” years’.

Their extensive education, they said, was a journey that helped strengthen their mental health.

Alongside their studies, Ronnie attended international summer schools at the University of Cambridge, and then continued to work in academia, traveling extensively to teach, perform and mentor.

Despite coming to terms with the sense of being a white woman in midlife, Dr. Ronnie has written in midlife about how they still had “unfinished business” to deal with when it came to holding onto these different identities.

But despite these struggles, Ronnie wrote, “Through all the noir, I know the light of my white womanhood is swirling and lurking. I thought it should always be this way.’

During their TedX address, the academic, who regularly speaks on identity, diversity and inclusion to K-12 schools, universities and non-profits, spoke about how transracial identities have been represented in popular culture.

Among them, they mentioned Whoopi Goldberg in the film The Associate, which portrays a white man.

They also credited Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique in the Marvel franchise, saying, “Her character Mystique allowed her to represent an amalgamation of different types of races, ethnicities, and even species”.

Dr. Ronnie describes how they achieved their own identity and wrote in their book that they are a female taken to the time of an adult season’.

Still, the journey isn’t easy: They note that their development “hasn’t been linear,” and they’re “still working to keep up with everything.”

Among them are ‘my voice, my appearance, my actions, my stride – and my time’.

Describing their acceptance of their identity, they wrote, “Ronnie, your life and form always overshadow me. It’s true, I’m a white girl. And for a long time I’ve been your white girl. I know I am me because I see it.

‘The subtext abounds. It’s those eyes of three-dimensional white women that see me buried in you. Their instincts know it and feel it.”