Why I fear Bonnie Blue’s on-camera orgy with teenage boys will end in unthinkable tragedy, writes AMANDA GOFF

Dear Bonnie,

How are you? How are you? Real? I mean that sincerely and with genuine concern – from an older, wiser (and retired) sex worker to a young woman new to the game. At 50, I’m old enough to be your mother, so here’s some motherly advice.

Your extraordinary plan to have sex with hundreds of ‘barely legal’ teenage boys at Schoolies – Australia’s equivalent of Spring Break or Freshers’ Week – has spread worldwide. The whole world is talking about what you plan to do with dozens of young men in the Meriton apartments on the Gold Coast.

You have – deliberately, I suspect – caused public hysteria. You are infamous and will forever be known for this. We may not know your real name (you seem very coy about that), but we know your face and we all have an opinion about your story.

You will know by now that you have upset many people, especially parents, but also survivors of sexual abuse, including the brave activist Harrison James, whom I admire enormously. Harrison, who was abused by his stepmother as a young teenager, has expressed serious concerns that what you are doing – while legal – is ethically and morally wrong and influenced by the destructive, baffling ‘teen porn’ trend..

Harrison, whose criticism you have rejected, has raised what I think are valid concerns that the young men you are having sex with may be “legal” but are also not mature enough or in the right state of mind to engage in it to agree to have sex. filmed while you participate in group sex on camera – footage that benefits only you and will remain on the internet forever.

I appreciate you saying that every man will have a breathalyzer test, but you and I both know that kids do drugs at Schoolies and you can’t detect them with a breathalyzer.

Your proposed orgy is so controversial that a Change.org petition calling for you, a British citizen, to be deported from Australia has gathered almost 18,000 signatures.

You’ve said that critics who oppose what you do are boring, middle-aged Karens who are judgmental when it comes to sex work.

Before we get into whether that’s a valid answer, let me tell you a little about me, Bonnie. Take a seat – it’s quite a story.

I’ve made a career out of being controversial, and I did that when you were in school.

I’m a journalist by profession, but after being in a rut in my career, I started moonlighting as a high-class escort Samantha to ‘out’ myself as Samantha in an exclusive TV interview. To say I caused a stir would be an understatement. I admit that that decision was a publicity move for my memoir (it became a bestseller), so I’m in no position to condemn you for using the media for self-promotion.

But the difference between you and me, Bonnie, is that sex work has always been work for me. While I flirted with the press, I never turned my actual labor – sex itself – into a media circus. And that’s because, even before I became an escort, I always believed that sex workers deserved to be taken seriously.

Before OnlyFans turned us into celebrities, women in our industry had to fight to be heard, to have rights when it comes to health, safety and freedom from discrimination.

I’ve never met you, Bonnie, and I have absolutely nothing against you. You are beautiful, articulate and unmistakably a businesswoman. You’re a 25-year-old content creator working in a market that we both know is oversaturated. It’s a world I don’t know much about, but I appreciate that it can be challenging, even brutal, at times.

The money is there. Young women can make millions, but most earn less than the average wage. You have to be popular, and that means you have to be different, original and even infamous. But you already know that – you are not stupid.

But to use 18 year old boys to achieve that infamy? I’m sorry, it’s too far for me.

You knew that your very public appeal to school leavers would hit the headlines, drive up your subscribers and cause outrage. You saw dollar signs.

Part of me admired your hustle. Then another part of me remembered that the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for planning, prioritizing, and making good decisions—is one of the last parts of the brain to fully develop in teens.

Simply put, teenage boys are stupid and don’t know what they’re doing.

I may be fifty and over (thank goodness), and I hate to be a woman who sides with another woman, but Bonnie, I urge you to think about this very, very carefully before you flies to Schoolies.

Forget what the law says: boys only become men when they are 25. We know that because they do stupid things. They drive too fast, they jump from roofs, they do ridiculous and reckless stunts to impress their friends.

Some of them might even have sex on camera for the world to see – forever. And years later, when they have a corporate job or are about to marry the woman of their dreams, they will remember what they did with you on camera and they will feel sick. And the worst part is that they can’t do anything about it because you own the copyright and they signed a release form when they were 18.

What if they can’t live with themselves? What if the fear that their secret will be discovered – by their colleagues, parents or girlfriend – becomes too great? I’ve known men who commit suicide over less.

I want to paint a picture of an 18 year old Australian man: they have just finished their HSC exams, they are old enough to vote and sign up for the military. But many of them also still have acne and haven’t been to college yet. They find farts funny and drink too much. They are sensitive to peer pressure. They may still be virgins.

Legally, I’m sure you have all your basics covered. You check IDs twice, use consent and model release forms, and enforce a breath test. But in my opinion what you are doing is a huge abuse of power. And I have a problem with that.

Bonnie, I can be loud and proud about my history in the sex industry. But ten years later – older and wiser – do I have any regrets? You bet I will. Would I do it all again? It depends what day of the week you ask me.

But the point is, if I, as a 50-year-old woman, can regret my past, young men can too. Men are not that different from us. I have sat with them as they cried because they were sexually abused as children. I even know men who were taken advantage of by older women as teenagers – the kind of “fantasy” that fills the search results on websites like PornHub. It affected them for life.

Bonnie, I’m not judging you for your work. How could I? Our profession is as old as time. Men and women can be incredibly lonely, and we both know that our work is more about intimacy and connection than sex.

Adults make adult choices. Consent is an important word. It’s not a hastily typed contract thrown into the sweaty hands of a shy 18-year-old boy who, as far as you know, has never slept with a woman before.

There’s no shortage of grown men who want to have sex with you on camera, Bonnie. Leave the boys alone.

If you are in Australia and you or someone you know is struggling or would like to talk to someone about anxiety, depression or suicidal thoughts, contact Beyond Blue’s support service on 1300 22 4636 or chat with their counselor online.

In the UK, for confidential support, call Samaritans on 116123 or visit a Samaritans branch.