Big Brother’s Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace shares determination to be a mum after multiple miscarriages

Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace has shared her determination to be a mother after suffering multiple miscarriages on Wednesday. 

The former Big Brother star, 43, who sadly lost another baby earlier this month, told of how she will not let the tragedy ‘defeat’ her and will ‘do whatever it takes.’ 

She has tragically suffered three miscarriages in the past and a stillborn in her bid to have a child, with doctors confirming she suffers from rhesus negative, a rare blood disease that threatens her chances of carrying a baby to full-term. 

Speaking to Closer magazine, Aisleyne said: ‘When I was younger, I thought, I’ll worry about it later and just get on with my career. 

‘But now that I’m 43, I can’t put it in a box and push it to the back of my mind anymore. I have to confront it face on otherwise it could be too late.

‘I have a maternal instinct and will do what it takes. It is easy to feel defeated when this is happening but I am not one to be defeated.’ 

Aisleyne explained her plans to meet with fertility experts in Dubai and added that she has not ruled out other options such as IVF, fostering or adoption.  

Earlier this month, she took to her Instagram stories to share the heartbreaking miscarriage news and penned: ‘It hurts every time, but this time even more.’    

Aisleyne tragically admitted that she had ‘never been more ready’ as she began: ‘Everyone knows I’ve been through this before.

‘But never have I ever been so excited and happy and ready for a baby as I was this time. And him too. 

‘It hurts every time. But this time. Even more. Is that OK? Do u understand?’

Aisleyene continued to say of the baby’s father, whom she hasn’t spoken publicly about: ‘When a mother loses child we all rally around her, and sometimes he, the father is lost in the mayhem.’ 

‘He loved baby. He dream to meet, hold, protect, provide… he slept on and kissed my belly every night. He’s broken. Not.Just.Me.’

The devastated model went on: ‘I’m losing my mind. And I don’t mind.’

Referring to her previous losses in another story, she wrote: ‘Again and again and again and again. I just wanna be with my babies.’

Aisleyne added to her stories: ‘Some would say I didn’t even know you. But I carried you, felt you grow. Longed for the day we’d meet. Dreamed of your future. Not only did I know you, I fell in love with you.’

Over on her grid, she posted an image of a poignant message which read: ‘I may have only held you in my womb for a moment, but I will hold you in my heart forever.’

Aisleyne has always been open about her heartbreaking quest to become a mother. and in June, the TV personality admitted she’s ‘starting to panic’ that she will no be able to have children.

She told The Sun: ‘I’m really starting to panic that it’s just not going to happen for me’ before adding that she’s aware that her women’s body ‘clock is always ticking’.

She added: ‘I just have to hope and pray that I’ve not left it too late to have my miracle baby.’ 

On her miscarriages she went on: ‘It was heartbreaking because you’re left thinking, ‘What have I done wrong?’. I went through a lot of self-blame before they investigated what was happening.’ 

Meanwhile, Aisleyne opened up about the heartbreak of losing four babies in an emotional appearance on First Dates in 2018.

The reality star talked about the difficulty of her journey towards finding love on the dating show, becoming tearful as she described the emotional turmoil of suffering three miscarriages, and a stillbirth at seven months pregnant.  

The former reality star told of the tragedy she suffered after falling pregnant four times during a past relationship that lasted 10 years, and said the pain made her ‘shut myself off from love’. 

During an emotional moment speaking about a ten-year long relationship she was in in her twenties, Aisleyne wiped away tears as she recalled her heartbreak.

‘I had a lot of pain in my last relationship because I lost some babies. I lost four babies, one at seven months, so I had to give birth.’ 

But the relationship broke down: ‘And then we split up. I shut myself off from love. I thought, I’ve had enough.I thought, money can’t leave you, money can’t die. So I thought I’d chase money instead of love.’

She added: ‘After the fourth one, they did tests and found out I was rhesus negative… It’s quite powerful blood and if a foreign body comes into it, it’ll just attack it. 

‘But [now] it’s just one simple injection. So I can have a baby. But my other ones are in heaven.’

For help with related issues, contact Tommy’s, a miscarriage, premature birth and stillbirth charity, at mailbox@tommys.org or call 0800 0147 80099.